ELiot Would you like to pick a specific one from the list to talk about? I can pick one if you like

Why do you offer to pick the specific issue? Agency is important for getting out of depression.

Zebra The stress of not going is physiological rather than psychological, so I don't think looking at that differently can really fix it.

The person tells you something about the cause of their problem but you don't react with a technique such as focusing that deals with physiological stress but ignore that comment.

ELiot Conversation with new people is "not alone"

I don't see that statement is helpful. You disregard the feelings of the person by declaring them to be wrong. If the person has trouble connecting with their feelings and releasing them, that's a bad move.

Zebra My mother claims I told her I was hospitalised for a head injury around the time my mental health problems started worsening.

Studies of head injuries suggest that depression does frequently follow from them.

Also, I've probably gained 40kg since then, so even if I was it's probably all for naught.

Again a physical issue. Is there inflammation that goes with the weight gain?

ELiot Even the meta strategy of "trying to plan" can help You should write down that idea

Probably a mistake. You first tell him that they should do something and then tell them that should isn't a helpful word.

I wouldn't try to solve the issue on the mental level. I think a form of manual therapy that targets the head and does aftercare for the head injury would be the intervention with the highest chance of improving this persons life.