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daenerys comments on Interpersonal Entanglement - Less Wrong

44 Post author: Eliezer_Yudkowsky 20 January 2009 06:17AM

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Comment author: [deleted] 16 December 2011 10:07:37PM 1 point [-]

For example, the female's decision to chase could depend on the quality of the male.

I don't remember any of the details, but the fact that "the female's decision to chase" relies on the quality of the male was pretty much how the whole theory worked...

(I am going to quantify/rank people's matability, so that I can make my point quickly. But I do not necessarily think you should do this to actual people, IRL.)

Say Sue is a 6. She will probably be "chased" by 4s and 5s. If she doesn't pursue men herself, then she will date these guys until she finds one that is good enough to not break up with, and end up marrying him.

IF however, she is willing to do the chasing, she will probably chase 7s and 8s (she has 4s and 5s knocking at her door. There is no reason to "chase" them.) Men have had less practice and experience being chased, and are therefore less likely to turn a female down.

Another way of thinking of it (for guys)- There might be girls that you wouldn't bother to pursue, but if she pursued you, you would probably date her.

Comment author: cousin_it 16 December 2011 10:13:43PM *  2 points [-]

Imagine a hypothetical world where every female has an equal chance of deciding to chase if the stars align just right: the man is above her rank+1, there's a convenient opening, the circumstances are such that society won't frown on her chasing, etc. In that world, the females who ended up chasing would have better mates, but that would depend only on random circumstances and not on the female's inner dispositions.

I'm not saying that world is our world, just that an observational study doesn't provide an obvious way to distinguish that world from ours. Adopting the habits of successful people can sometimes help, but only if those habits are among the causes of success, not just correlated with it.

Comment author: wedrifid 17 December 2011 11:14:44AM 6 points [-]

Say Sue is a 6. She will probably be "chased" by 4s and 5s. If she doesn't pursue men herself, then she will date these guys until she finds one that is good enough to not break up with, and end up marrying him.

She will probably also get persued by 6s, 7s and lazy 8s - just not for long term relationships.

Another way of thinking of it (for guys)- There might be girls that you wouldn't bother to pursue, but if she pursued you, you would probably date her.

This is definitely true.