I'm sharing this because someone who seems important in LessWrong asked me to, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. But, publishing stories like this makes me feel more naked than if I were doing a striptease. And the worst part is that no one puts dollars in my underwear, but here it goes:
Pre-Haiti Context
I received the most Brazilian mission possible:
Teach emergency first aid to an entire regiment of the Brazilian army
"So it's for a peace mission? Will I be able to do this alone?"
"Relax, soldier, you have a week to train them"
The standard is 3 intensive months. My solution? Condense all emergency aid to priority life. E.g., What do I do if someone has a broken spine but isn't breathing? - = Priority life
And highlight this wisdom with a principle even soldiers couldn't forget:
"What's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?"
What good is a spine to someone who isn't breathing?
Day 1 - The Bathroom Revolution
After the fart principle, the class turned into a minefield. When a sergeant demanded physical punishment for the distracted class, I retorted: "Here we teach how to save lives. Physical education is during your shift."
Result:
Attentive students, check
Superiors leaving the classroom slamming the door, check.
Day 2 - The Incident
I demonstrated chest compressions using hip movements (impeccable science):
Lowered samba position
Battle cry: "The movement is sensual, the movement is sexy."
Didactic question: "Feel that? Nice, isn't it?"
The intervention came:
"This offends our female soldiers!"
So I began questioning a female student:
- First action when finding an unconscious person?
- Assess environmental risks
- Next sequence?
- Call for backup, evaluate victim...
- Were you offended by learning this?
- It was the most useful class I've had here"
*I was damn lucky she wasn't ultra-religious and didn't notice my logical fallacies, or I'd still be doing push-ups today.
Then the intervention man revealed himself as a general.
Unbelievable Epilogue
He gave me:
Applause
A tribute from the warriors in formation as a professor
Decorations as an honorary peace warrior.
Reflections
I wanted the power of being military to talk nonsense without much threat. But of course, the military isn't Comedy Central. That day I got away with it, but I accumulated so many disciplinary proceedings for saying things like "what's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?" that I decided to professionalize.
That's how I entered a postgraduate program in neuroscience to understand humor and be able to speak huge balderdash, but now with bibliographic references and social credit. "Neuroscientist famous for educating his 2 neurons with a banana."
Have you ever tried to do that? Define what humor is? Not just for you but something that works for all humanity? All this to make jokes without being arrested by the military? And having an advisor who questions you with all the love in the world when all you wanted to know was whether CPR works better with or without jokes?
I'm sharing this because someone who seems important in LessWrong asked me to, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. But, publishing stories like this makes me feel more naked than if I were doing a striptease. And the worst part is that no one puts dollars in my underwear, but here it goes:
Pre-Haiti Context
I received the most Brazilian mission possible:
The standard is 3 intensive months. My solution? Condense all emergency aid to priority life.
E.g., What do I do if someone has a broken spine but isn't breathing? - = Priority life
And highlight this wisdom with a principle even soldiers couldn't forget:
"What's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?"
What good is a spine to someone who isn't breathing?
Day 1 - The Bathroom Revolution
After the fart principle, the class turned into a minefield. When a sergeant demanded physical punishment for the distracted class, I retorted: "Here we teach how to save lives. Physical education is during your shift."
Result:
Day 2 - The Incident
I demonstrated chest compressions using hip movements (impeccable science):
The intervention came:
"This offends our female soldiers!"
So I began questioning a female student:
- First action when finding an unconscious person?
- Assess environmental risks
- Next sequence?
- Call for backup, evaluate victim...
- Were you offended by learning this?
- It was the most useful class I've had here"
*I was damn lucky she wasn't ultra-religious and didn't notice my logical fallacies, or I'd still be doing push-ups today.
Then the intervention man revealed himself as a general.
Unbelievable Epilogue
He gave me:
Reflections
I wanted the power of being military to talk nonsense without much threat. But of course, the military isn't Comedy Central. That day I got away with it, but I accumulated so many disciplinary proceedings for saying things like "what's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?" that I decided to professionalize.
That's how I entered a postgraduate program in neuroscience to understand humor and be able to speak huge balderdash, but now with bibliographic references and social credit. "Neuroscientist famous for educating his 2 neurons with a banana."
Have you ever tried to do that? Define what humor is? Not just for you but something that works for all humanity? All this to make jokes without being arrested by the military? And having an advisor who questions you with all the love in the world when all you wanted to know was whether CPR works better with or without jokes?
References and Notes: