mr bean was just like mr bean on youtube

only muchly much funnier!!!  

 

 

sëbus was crying with laughter

he was spinning on daddy's lap
he was spouting gibberish
he was excitedly explaining the jokes to dad

sëbus was happy
happy from laughing

but also maybe from being able to explain the jokes to dad  

 

 

dad was happy for sëbus, too
just less so than sëbus
if he were more happy, the knowers would have chosen him perhaps

and dad was laughing too
of course
crying with laughter

just a little less than sëbus

mr bean, he was performing for sëbus
doing his best for him
it was a very sëbus kind of humor  

 

 

dad even had strength left to think while he was laughing

"what the     what is happening"     dad's thinking stumbled

he could probably guess what
just the laughter stopped him from thinking to the end

then dad decided to think about laughter itself
that proved to be easier

"o!"     he thought     roaring with laughter

"it's just the perfect time to     figure it out     what it is!"
"what laughter is"

"now!"
"i'm just     never before, such laughter     and never again"

here, mr bean did something that made sëbus sink under the table from dad's lap
he was laughing so hard

dad, too, had some trouble sitting straight  

 

 

"laughter is when you get when you didn't expect"     dad realized instantly
this had eluded him for so long!

"you get something good, and a lot, and at once!"     dad roared

he just got a lot and at once
went from no understanding of laughter to maximum possible

such sudden clarity

the second captain was rubbing his eyes, blinded by laughter
barely holding up the squirming first captain

"right"     he kept saying to himself

"riiiiiiight"  

 

 

unlike dad, sëbus was not really thinking
he was simply laughing

it was all so funny
and not scary at all

a little while back, sëbus was a bit scared     [another flashback]
because he didn't know when the game would start

it's been half a day since they left earth, already passed the moon, so where are they?
they
the knowers

sëbus greatly disliked being played with without permission  

 

 

dad reassured him
he said: this game will certainly not start until you want it

no one can be made happy against their will

so after dinner, just as a light distraction, sëbus climbed up on dad's lap
he wanted to watch something funny with him
like mr bean

so they went to youtube and started watching

and in a few minutes, youtube turned into something entirely different

the game started  

 

 

sëbus was riding on his dad and watching
as if watching youtube
only it wasn't youtube

it was something absolutely new and amazing
and it was so funny

sëbus was on his dad and at the same time he was in that world
the mr bean world

he could fly close up to people
look into their faces
but they couldn't see him

it was like the observer mode in minecraft

and it was better than youtube:
on youtube, sëbus didn't always understand what was going on

here, he understood everything perfectly

every absurdity of that world set off a fireworks in his brain
every joke was as the joke of sëbus' lifetime  

 

 

so what did they all do? in that world?

oh, for example: they all kept falling!

always harmless     but so sudden     so very funny
so interesting!
because every fall put in motion some kind of hidden mechanism of this world

it was all perfectly set up

look!
pathetic     unstoppable     oh-my-god-smashing —

and it turns out: it was just perfect
perfectly timed and perfectly prepared
exactly like this

a whole store of stuff collapses
a whole bathtub of water rushes out
and that's perfect  

 

 

poor guys     (dad was thinking)

even mr bean
though he's mostly escaping the hell he causes

it's all staged, i know
collapsed half a city, picked himself up, walked away

still     poor creatures     (dad was laughing quietly)

that's how it must be

let it all crumble and explode
more room to rebuild!
there will be new stuff built

and now, why not just have fun

sëbus     i love your sense of humor

(wow, did you see that? did you notice?)  

 

 

now mr bean was in a school

cautiously made his way along the corridor
looked around

for there were kids!
lots of them

very funny
these kids

they were also falling
and screaming     and throwing stuff
and jumping and running wild

and they were laughing
it was all too funny to not laugh

and sëbus was with them
laughing with other kids was a lot more fun than laughing alone  

 

 

no, they weren't teasing mr bean, or anyone
no evil jokes
no nastiness

these were good kids
bad kids wouldn't be funny at all

they were just very very wild
they were unleashed

they could do anything right now
nothing was off limits

and they all knew, for some reason, that it was all totally safe
you do all you want, and nothing bad comes out of it

even when something breaks
hooray!
we'll just sweep the debris  

 

 

as for mr bean, he was —

he was like: whoa whoa!

he was very indignant
what kind of behavior is that, was his question!
he was hilarious

the way he steps over
guards himself from all the pandemonium

such mr bean dignity

but actually he's having fun too, sëbus realized
he's just not showing it
he's mr bean

what if, sëbus thought —  

 

 

sëbus transformed himself into something

something utterly shocking for mr bean
something     something!

he wasn't actually sure himself what it was
he didn't care

he just watched mr bean's reaction!

dad! dad! did you see that?
did you see how he's —

let me do it again
let me

mr bean's reaction to sëbus doing it again was such that sëbus rolled down from dad's lap
he was laughing so hard  

 

 

but this was the last burst of fun
like the last salvo of fireworks on canada day

after that, sëbus felt tired of laughing
laughing tires you

and also: he felt something towards mr bean
almost like a
pity?

he felt he just wanted to not laugh at him for a bit

just to
be with him  

 

 

sëbus transformed himself back into sëbus

he took mr bean's hand
(the hand was utterly real)

mr bean squirmed, but sëbus smiled to him very widely

he led mr bean out of the school
to the street
(it was a noisy street, cars were going up and down, and it was windy)

and there, sëbus asked him a question

just stopped and asked

you are a knower, sëbus said
you know all

tell me why did wendy fly away?  

 

 

mr bean made a funny face

not very funny
before, he used to make much funnier faces than this

as if he was saying: oh!
i know, little boy, i know it all!
i know what you can't even imagine —

and then he made a move
as if pointing somewhere behind sëbus' back

that distracted sëbus for two tenths of a second
but that was enough  

 

 

when he turned back, he saw mr bean —

bending all over himself?
twitching

trying to —

close down! shut up! like a telescope —