I hear a lot of different stories about how meaning should fit into one's life
"What's all this meaning bullshit? Just focus on doing your job well and providing for your family."
^my grandparents
"Wanting meaning is wanting a simple narrative to your life, no simple narrative can possibly be true which means you should forgo the impulse for meaning in favor of the truth."
^some rationalists I know now
"Sure you can have meaning, but base it off of something real like 'pushing the bounds of human knowledge' instead of some ancient conception of a deity."
^some other rationalists I know now
"Without meaning you might still be able to have an okay life, but you're missing out on one of the most important/enjoyable/most-human parts of being a human."
^my parents
"Without meaning, you and your society will slowly degrade and fall apart and it is imperative that you find a narrative that works, otherwise game over."
^Jordan Peterson maybe(?)
Question: Do you personally feel a need/desire/impulse to have something like meaning in your life? How do you feel when you have it? How do your feel when you don't? If you do experience a need for meaning, how do you feel about having that need?
If you feel a need for meaning, what sorts of things feel meaningful? If you don't feel a need for meaning, what is that like? If you feel a need for meaning but don't endorse it, why is that the case?
Alternative Question (If your answer is something along the lines of "I don't really care about meaning much, I mostly just try to spend time on things I care about"): Are you readily able to discern what you care about? Do you think and decide what to care about? Have you ever had the experience of caring about ABC for a long time, then some event cause you to no longer care about ABC? What does life feel like when you're doing stuff you care about? What does it feel like when you aren't?
This is an open ended and fuzzy topic, and I'm am looking for any and all personal experience data points you can provide.
Edit/Clarification: My main motive for asking is that I was planning to write some posts about meaning, and wanted to check if the views I was responding to were ones other people held, or just straw men. Again, I'm interested in either personal details of how you experience meaning, but also find useful hearing about people's explicit models of "what is the thing in the brain that is meaning?" (I would conceivable ask for models as a related question, but I'm not sure how that feature works and don't know what it looks like when used)
This question is better informed by the works of Martin Seligman and his happiness/wellbeing department of psychology, Jordan Peterson's early book "Maps of meaning", and Victor Frankl.
Seligman suggests that meaning is one of the big things required to live a fulfilling and happy life.
Jordan Peterson proposed that meaning is narrative based and you can write your own meaning by journaling about your past/present/future.
Victor Frankl (post holocaust book - "man's search for meaning") invented logotherapy, suggesting that people need a reason and a purpose to exist. Described that while surviving the camps he was propelled by the desire to be able to one day tell his story. V also describes his patients and some of the ways he reflects back a cognitively meaningful conclusion to their struggles (man who died before his wife, was suggested that it was to save his wife from dying first and suffering without the man).
Buddhist meditators realise that meaning is subjective. because meaning is located in the brain, we can change it, we can manipulate it and we can make it work differently. I can do things like discount how much I value something, whenever I notice a motivation I can examine it's parts and find it's impermanence, I can notice how meaning does not satisfy and is just some chemistry in my brain. I can notice the self is an illusion and my own meaning is made up to satisfy something like an "ego" (ego is a word being butchered by many definitions).
Post rationalists can approach the problem like a game. What's the meaning at the end of the game? Okay, why don't I just stop playing the game and just do that. I call this the "just stop playing the game" game, and I've wanted to do it for as long as I was a rationalist. Only to realise that, the "just stop playing the game" game, is just another fancier game. Seeing the game, playing the game anyway, and realising it's a game, or seeing the game and not playing the game, starts looking like the same thing. A prison I can't escape. knowing these details, from the PR perspective, how do I play the game of my own choosing, my own meaning, while knowing I'm still in a game.
There's also the theory of spiral dynamics which describes how different people find meaning from different broad structures in a sociologically predictable and mapped out fashion. I will write an article about it at some point and have several drafts half written.
It's important to separate meaning from meaningful and the reasoning around meaning from the core meaningful thing. The difference between, "I really like sweet deserts" and "I like ice-cream" (but for meaning, X matters, Y are the reasons why it matters).
personal front:
Meaning is subjective, I accidentally made myself miserable by wanting things I could not have, then I accidentally made myself very disappointed by never wanting anything. It's been a meditative challenge to find the balance where I can want something and not be sad if I don't get it, and also not want something too hard that I feel meaningless being unable to get it, or meaningless once I do get it.
I explore what matters to other people, and that's been fun and interesting. There's a deep world of what matters to other people and why, and it's worth sharing and enjoying.
There's a complexity of validation for my own meaning, or some 1st person subjective desires never go away.
One thing I would like to acquire is the ability to have an enjoyable subjective experience almost all of the time.