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adamzerner comments on How to have high-value conversations - Less Wrong Discussion

15 Post author: Vika 13 November 2013 03:39AM

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Comment author: Viliam_Bur 13 November 2013 09:36:06AM *  9 points [-]

There is nothing wrong with entertainment if entertainment is what you want. But people often switch to entertainment automatically just because it's easy and immediately socially rewarding.

It's like a difference between reading internet once in a while, and spending your whole day online. There should be an "internet" time, but also a "non-internet" time. Similarly, in social situations we want to have both "entertainment" time and "non-entertainment" time.

In the spirit of purchasing fuzzies and utilons separately, perhaps we should try to make separate time slots for maximum entertainment (fun and group bonding) and time slots for maximum becoming stronger. As opposed to having mediocre insights interrupted by jokes and board games.

(As an extreme example, two hours of group sex followed by two hours of high-quality quantum physics lessons would give you both more pleasure and more knowledge than four hours of playing Monopoly and having small talk.)

Comment author: blacktrance 13 November 2013 06:51:46PM 3 points [-]

Maybe people switch to entertainment because it's what they'd prefer.

two hours of group sex followed by two hours of high-quality quantum physics lessons would give you both more pleasure and more knowledge than four hours of playing Monopoly and having small talk

Definitely not. That would be like eating a hundred tomatoes, then a hundred leaves of lettuce, and then saying that it's better than a salad. A mix of the two is more enjoyable, at least for me.

Comment author: Gunnar_Zarncke 14 November 2014 07:37:42AM 0 points [-]

I guess that personal preferrence differs a lot in this.

Comment author: Vika 15 November 2013 06:59:17AM 1 point [-]

Especially for a group that meets recurrently, it seems worthwhile to experience many different conversational contexts, some more structured and some less so. More structured contexts seem to be hard to sustain - the weekly sessions at my house focused on goal analysis often "devolve" into semi-related conversation.

Completely separating fuzzies and utilons doesn't seem possible, e.g. the quantum physics lessons are likely to be at least somewhat entertaining, but it makes sense to try to focus on one or the other for a particular activity.