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UnrequitedHope comments on Group Rationality Diary, January 1-15 - Less Wrong Discussion

3 Post author: therufs 01 January 2015 05:43PM

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Comment author: [deleted] comment score below threshold [+] (8 children)

Comment author: [deleted] 02 January 2015 03:48:55PM -8 points [-]

Not really sure if this is the right place (other than the open thread I can't really think of anything that might fit though) so..

http://lesswrong.com/lw/le5/welcome_to_less_wrong_7th_thread_december_2014/bsl1

I attempted to ask her out. I almost did it and had a fucking movie moment when the bus came right when I was thinking the situation is not the most optimal but tried to say it and.. "oh it's my bus cya!". God fucking damnit. I've waited outside for 20 minutes and she didn't show up and thought that she can't take 20 minutes getting dressed so I thought I probably missed her. Went back in and my friend asked who I'm waiting for. Said a different girl's name and made some sexually-flavoured comment about her to change the topic (Got a good success rate). He said that he's gonna wait with me and I didn't want the streissland effect on me so I waited with him and this FUCKING moment. She basically comes out of the changing room and I'm like, "fuck it it's now or never". So I went after her like a creepy stalker (should've middlefingered the cameras as I've made the observation that a lot of guys wanna fuck girls but they only think about ends and their means are either zero or well quite lacking. This would've given them a pissed off feeling as I'm basically tellling them I've got the guts to ask the hot girl out and they don't) and told her to wait for a second but the FUCKING WORDS DIDN'T COME OUT OF MY MOUTH. Knew dropping your pants is always the best way to get that point across but didn't want my balls to freeze. Anyway my memory's hazy here but we were walking in a parell line and she somehow got ahead of me and I was basically (I think before that happened) speaking in a low voice to myself (I think uttered is the right word) saying that I thought I left that behind me. Also did my usual body language thing because that's what I always do and it helps to get the point across. Anyway she got ahead of me and then I noticed her butt was really fucking sexy and maybe it gave me courage and maybe not I just thought that "fuck, this is important to me" and followed her even like a creepier stalker. Again the fucking words didn't come out of my mouth. And well this is basically how I started this comment. Sub-optimal environment but it was important to me. And then the fucking bus came. Oh shit.

For some reason though, I don't particularly feel like I've failed. Intellectually I feel like the whole act had some rather significant holes in there. My plan, while not perfect because it relied on external and uncontrollable variables (like miss lazy taking 20 minutes to get dressed. At least the end result was pretty pretty) that are basically grey area in planning that makes my whole plan fall apart if their value isn't True. I've made a mistake coming back down as I felt that she have left already even though the time frame between her going down and me deserting my fellow employees in order to score a shot was pretty small. Guess I need to tune my decision theory or some other thing I don't know of yet and may Eliezer bless me with his rationality or something like that. But seriously I don't feel like I've failed. Emotionally I didn't feel anything but intellectually I felt that certain variables that were not properly optimized in my decisions. To be honest it feels like an abrupt end of an episode that I'll have to fill in next time we meet.

Also you know what'd be really fucking weird? If she's reading this right now.

Comment author: Manfred 02 January 2015 09:41:36PM 3 points [-]

Recommendations:

Find 1-3 relationships blogs or forums that talk about typical problems and that you enjoy reading. This recommendation is not to find The Best Advice, but to get a peek at what ordinary smart people (of wide variety) think and have trouble with.

If you are not already a member of a club centered on doing a thing you like, which has occasional social functions (both meanings), you should strongly consider that.

If you have trouble getting the words out of your mouth, consider playing the rejection therapy game a bit.

Comment author: bogus 02 January 2015 04:15:06PM * 2 points [-]

God fucking damnit. I've waited outside for 20 minutes [snip] Oh shit

Y'know, this is the kind of stuff that can creep people out, for pretty good reasons. I think you need to stop thinking about "asking this girl out" on a "date", and focus on making a good impression on her. What does this girl even know about you? Are you on friendly and trusting terms with each other? (not necessarily 'friends', but comfortable enough that you could see the two of you hanging out without it being a big deal). You should start from these basics, and if you have these nailed down there's no reason for the issue of "asking her out" to even come up as a huge problem.

Comment author: [deleted] comment score below threshold [+] (5 children)

Comment author: polymathwannabe 03 January 2015 03:01:27AM * 4 points [-]

Know what man, that's my way for better or for fucking worse!

That's what someone says when they don't want to improve. If you are serious about doing things in a better way, you need to reconsider your attachment to "your way."

It's true I got a few things to optimize but asking a girl out isn't one of those things!

Yes it is. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted this story at all.

Comment author: bogus 02 January 2015 05:29:49PM * 2 points [-]

It's hard to detect sarcasm over the internet, but my point was not even about you, just the behavior and general attitude referenced in your comment. Waiting for a person for twenty minutes can easily be interpreted as stalkerish behavior, even if you have the best of intentions.

It's all well and good if you don't care about that, just be aware that many people are rather paranoid about this sort of thing! So you could easily be making them uncomfortable, even if you didn't mean to. Cheers :)

Comment author: [deleted] comment score below threshold [+] (2 children)

Comment author: [deleted] 02 January 2015 06:06:53PM -6 points [-]

It's not difficult to detect sarcasm on the internet because when someone says something obnoxious you think he's either really stupid or laughing about it. Worst of all you can ask if the person is sarcastic and you're gonna have all confusion cleared. Why are people making this stuff more complex than it needs to be is simply beyond me and I'm stopping here before I start (rightfully) calling people names.

Anyway a small amount of paranoia is good but when you're as paranoid like that you should get it checked cause it's not healthy. FACT: I'm not only pursuing my goals I have good intentions and if you can't sense someone's good intentions and act like a crazy soccer mom then it's certainly not only unhealthy for you but also for the environment. When'd I said something devious? C'mon don't give me that. Lesswrong's front page says: "Less Wrong is an online community for people who want to apply the discovery of biases like the conjunction fallacy, the affect heuristic, and scope insensitivity in order to fix their own thinking." and that's what you give me? Also if this was Bruce Schneier's blog those "people" would've been called out on their paranoia. As far as it seems I got a few downvotes here an there so those people like clicking buttons and not voicing their opinion which means their opinion means nothing because if nobody can hear or read or otherwise percieve your opinion your opinion doesn't hold any weight. Fact is it seems like none of them are actually interested and are here only to judge. Rage aside though can you give me any data on who those "many people" are?

Also a question for you as you're the only one man enough to actually reply instead of downvote: Why are you so fixated on that kind of stuff? It makes me sad when you sya that because you seem to be on track but I just gotta say that when you've got a goal and it's important enough for you to basically give the finger to social standards can anyone really say anything to you? When you're working hard to achivee your goals and aspirations and you think about the end result and it drives you and you're like a pirate that found a chest full of gold can anyone really say anything? Why are you letting small-minded chumps who will never achieve anything drag you down? I'm a man. And you know what being a man means. I don't believe in justifying yourself because your success will live on fucking forever while these idiots will always find something to complain about.

Last time I'm justifying myself before the downvoters. One day I'll achieve greatness and you will be telling heroic tales of downvoting to your children.

Comment author: polymathwannabe 03 January 2015 03:13:27AM 2 points [-]

It's not difficult to detect sarcasm on the internet

if you can't sense someone's good intentions [...] then it's certainly not only unhealthy for you but also for the environment

You are overestimating people's capacity for mind-reading.

Worst of all you can ask if the person is sarcastic and you're gonna have all confusion cleared.

If you honestly believe that, the people at 4chan will have so much fun with you.

those people like clicking buttons and not voicing their opinion which means their opinion means nothing

Alternative hypothesis worth considering: you're lost beyond the help of an opinion.

Also a question for you as you're the only one man enough to actually reply instead of downvote

I'm a man. And you know what being a man means. I don't believe in justifying yourself

You have some very toxic assumptions about what masculinity means. For your information, there is more than one way to be a man, and none is less valid than any other.

when you've got a goal and it's important enough for you to basically give the finger to social standards can anyone really say anything to you?

Well, yes, of course they can. The ends don't justify the means, remember?

One day I'll achieve greatness and you will be telling heroic tales of downvoting to your children.

Now you sound megalomaniacal. Is it seriously your goal to achieve legendary greatness to be forever remembered... within an internet forum?

Comment author: bogus 02 January 2015 06:40:41PM 2 points [-]

Meh. For the record, I didn't even downvote you, though I can see why others did. Not that we're here to judge you - but then we can't be judging the "soccer moms" of the world either. All we can do is take their attitudes at a given for the moment, and perhaps start working on the hard problem of altering these, as part of our overall goal of making the world saner.

Again, it's all well and good that you want to "give the finger to social standards". So brave, much confidence. But you can only do that properly if you understand how the standards work in the first place, and why they're what they are - otherwise, you'll simply come across as your average foolish, angsty teen, who wants to reject the world's hypocracy and set on his own path, but doesn't get that this always involves paying a high price, and more often than not fails anyway due to his inexperience and poor understanding. Most people who naïvely set out to "achieve greatness" fail due to overconfidence. It's the people that just have something to protect who can end up doing impressive things in the process, if only occasionally and almost by accident.

UnrequitedHope comments on Group Rationality Diary, January 1-15 - Less Wrong Discussion

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