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ChristianKl comments on Open Thread, Feb. 2 - Feb 8, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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You do need to be open to injury of a non-physical nature to empathize in a way with another person where you feel their pain. The act of caring about another person opens you up to feel bad when they get hurt.
But the openness for negative emotions also means an openness for positive emotions. You feel good when the other person feels good. If you are vulnerable to a girl and she smiles to you in deep happiness that feels good. The ability to do that makes the girl feel agentship. She's not just an object but an agent.
A lot of that is also unconscious. Emotional flow is part of most healthy relationships and a lot of people have barrier against that.