The problem is that people generally don't know what they want and are unable to express what they think they want. It's the difference between having a utility function, being conscious of that utility function, and being able to communicate that utility function -- highly different abilities requiring progressively more introspective and analytic ability.
The surest test to find out what people are actually after is to observe what they go after, instead of listening to what they say they are after.
Seems like a difference between wanting and liking. What you want is not the same as what will make you happy when you get it, because humans are not utility maximizers. For example, you may not like being an addict, but you still want the drug. Not making a difference between wanting and liking makes talking about humans confused.
Similarly (warning: getting into the politically dangerous territory again), there is a difference between what (stereotypical, heterosexual, etc.) women like, and what they want. Politically correct people deny the "wanting...
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.
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