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Epictetus comments on Open thread, Mar. 16 - Mar. 22, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion

6 Post author: MrMind 16 March 2015 08:13AM

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Comment author: Epictetus 20 March 2015 07:36:17PM 4 points [-]

"Let's see if each of us posses any characteristics that would make us incompatible" seems socially unacceptable.

It's considered rude to say that out loud during a date. However, it is considered good practice to be alert for such characteristics.

Comment author: Lumifer 20 March 2015 08:09:23PM 2 points [-]

It's considered rude to say that out loud during a date.

In these very words, probably, but it's perfectly socially acceptable for e.g. a vegan to declare outright that s/he is not interested in carnivores...

Comment author: adamzerner 20 March 2015 11:54:50PM 0 points [-]

Do you think that it's rude? It seems sensible to me.

It seems that people interpret such actions as hostile. And people who say things like that probably are hostile. However, I don't think the likelihood of the person being hostile is high enough such that you should conclude that they actually are. I think that the likelihood is low enough such that the courteous thing to do is investigate further as why they're saying that.

And if they're well intentioned - ie. they want both parties to find someone that they're compatible and happy with, and are just trying to do a good job of that - then I think the mature thing to do is to respect it.