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ChristianKl comments on Open thread, Mar. 16 - Mar. 22, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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Do dating conventions fall victim to Positive Bias?
It seems that people are always looking for positive evidence, and that looking for negative evidence (I suspect my vocabulary might be incorrect?) is socially unacceptable. Ie. "Let's see if we could find something in common." seems typical and acceptable, while "Let's see if each of us posses any characteristics that would make us incompatible" seems socially unacceptable.
Note: I have zero experience with dating and romance so these are just my impressions, although I suspect that they're true.
The point of a dating conversation isn't primarily to exchange information. It's to create good feelings and see whether one can create a feeling of connection.
Is this a correct restatement of your claim?
The ultimate point is to determine compatibility. But the best way to do that is to follow social convention and keep things positive. In doing this, your System I will be able to determine compatibility, and will notify you by producing emotions. By violating social convention and saying something like, "Let's see if each of us posses any characteristics that would make us incompatible", you'd hamper System I in exchange for some information for System II to use. This exchange isn't worth it.
It'd be interesting to see some research on this.
No, building an emotional connection isn't an act that's just about gathering information the same way as lighting a pile of wood on fire isn't about testing the wedness of the wood.