Should I consider it a rationality failure if I exhibit resistance to psychotherapy? I know that CBT is supposed to help a person overcome the sorts of maladaptive thinking & behavior patterns that got them in the kind of trouble that convinced them to seek out therapy in the first place. CBT psychotherapists are probably the most mainstream people to even promote more rational thinking. But I have trouble following through.

For one, I cannot answer certain questions in the frame which my therapist imposes because I intellectually reject the assumptions that underlie them. Even when they're supposed to be established science. I just cannot map them unto my own experience. My therapist says I'm not giving her enough to work with.

For another, I do not fully agree with the psychological establishment on what constitutes "healthy", adaptive, rational behaviour and would not like myself to adhere to even the closest variation on mental normality. There are areas of myself which I do not wish to display as "up for fixing", and do not allow interference other than my own in those areas. I consider myself rational enough to debug myself, if and only if I decide an intervention is warranted. Otherwise, I like and accept myself as I am, I consider most of my traits, broadly speaking, as part of my ideal self, and would like to preserve most aspects about myself. While I'm not very sure that a therapist can or would be sufficiently subtle or insidious to modify me in a direction of which I do not approve, I'm worried that this is a possibility or that it is required in order to get any positive effects out of it.

For the record, I do therapy for ameliorating depression. The cause of depression is a failed relationship with someone I loved, which I may have allowed to get stuck in a negative feedback loop. (Then again, it's probably likely it would have failed without any negative feedback on my part.) I'm on meds as well. It's understandable to feel bad in this situation, I can't help feeling bad about it, and I'm not sure what a therapist can do to help me out of it. If I can recover on my own and with the aid of antidepressants, without having to waste time on therapy for it, I'd gladly do it, but I have the lingering doubt that the shrink may be right after all and I might need to get my head checked.