To me it seems like you have no idea where you want to go that's more specific than "I don't want to be depressed."
Well, yes, basically. I said as much to my psychotherapist as well.
To get positive effects you indeed have to allow change.
My question is, change in what? There's little I can change about my beliefs that would improve my mood, aside from becoming implausibly optimistic about my future. Change in baseline happiness? For one, that seems genetically determined; for another, when I don't get my heart broken I'm in a stable, content, neutral disposition, so it's not that. Change in goals? I've considered that, but it's just the kind of thing to make me more depressed, seeing as I'm not bloody asking for much if I want to have one relationship with a person of my choosing (a hypothetical someone in my future, not the lost cause I've been pursuing) in which nobody's deceiving anybody; it feels a lot like admitting defeat.
On the other hand everybody has the right to suffer as much as the want. You are allowed to have "being happy" not on top of your list of priorities.
Please don't.
There are basically two ways:
1) You have an idea about what to change about yourself. You go to a psychotherapist and tell him: "Hey, I want to change XYZ about myself." Then the psychotherapist says: "I think that would be good for you, I think I can bring you there, let's work together to get you there."
2) You give up control and let the psychotherapist mold you. He will work on changing things about you he considers supoptimal. That requires trust and going into a vulnerable state.
...There's little I can change about my beliefs tha
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.
Notes for future OT posters:
1. Please add the 'open_thread' tag.
2. Check if there is an active Open Thread before posting a new one. (Immediately before; refresh the list-of-threads page before posting.)
3. Open Threads should be posted in Discussion, and not Main.
4. Open Threads should start on Monday, and end on Sunday.