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DeVliegendeHollander comments on Open Thread, Jun. 29 - Jul. 5, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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There is a huge confounding factor - looks. Most sites are hugely photo focused. So the women who look good on photos get contacted by hundreds of men. Generally most issues boil down to this.
For me narrowing my search to women without photos worked really well, and I did it on a "traditional" site (it does not necessarily mean being ugly, just shy or not wanting to be judged by looks).
Now there are even sites specialized for this such as Willow and PersonalityMatch.
I have not tried Willow - no need to, I am sold - but it sounds like really something I would use.
I can confirm that for my case - when I (female) removed my picture from Okcupid, it had the (desirable, then) effect that I didn't get any messages whatsoever anymore, over the space of ~6 months. I might have gotten a non-zero amount if I hadn't stated on my profile that I wasn't looking for relationships at the time, but even with that clear statement I still got messages every once in a while during the time I had the picture up. I didn't try experimenting with a more/less attractive picture.
I got the impression that many people just look at the profile and don't even check the relationship status at the top of the profile.