Adding my data point: I had a first girlfriend at 24, but soon after 30 finding a new girlfriend was no problem. Since I don't have a control group, it is hard to tell what exactly was responsible for the change: age alone, more social life, stuff I learned online, confidence gained from the first success, dancing and massage lessons, or maybe something else I am not aware of. But it was a dramatic change.
It would be easier to tell what I did not do: I didn't exercise, I didn't get more rich, I haven't moved to a different city. I'm mentioning these, because this was an advice I got sometimes. To avoid misunderstanding, I am not saying you shouldn't do anything of these -- anything that gives you an advantage, and isn't too costly, do it; don't handicap yourself -- just saying that at the end it was not inevitable for me.
If I could send a message to my former self, it would be to do the dancing and massage lessons (seriously: you do it once, and you benefit from it for the rest of your life), exercise (wisely; don't just do random stuff that makes you tired), and just try to have fun instead of searching for a serious relationship. Meet many new people, don't cling to people you already know if they don't provide you any value just because you already spent time (sunk cost) with them.
Thanks for this. I've always suspected that one could sort of hack the process by training certain skills explicitly, like in doing the dance and massage lessons.
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