Thanks!
I know about gratitude journaling. I actually suggested my mom do at bedtime it with my youngest sister when it seemed like she might be getting spoiled and grumpy, and it's worked really well. It's a great tool, I just don't think it would yield any additional benefits for me, since luckily, I tend to think about things I'm happy/grateful about all day long. Those prayers were spontaneous; it's not like I said "ok, now I'm going to sit down and think of things to thank God for." The only difference after deconverting, when these prayers still came instinctually, was that I couldn't say "thanks God" anymore... it's hard to explain, but "thanks universe" just isn't the same.
Anyway, I've come to realize that with many of the things I'm thankful for, I can redirect the thoughts of gratitude toward people in my life. For example, instead of thanking God for the ability to run and for the enjoyment I get out of it, I can think fondly of my parents for sacrificing to send me to a Lutheran high school (which I otherwise might have considered a sad waste of their tight budget) that happened to have a great team and really knowledgeable, experienced, motivating coaches, since if I'd never gone there, I probably would have never come to love running the way I do now. Instead of thanking God for giving me such a great job, I can redirect my gratitude toward my friend's dad, who was into economics and lent me books that made me aware enough of the sunk cost fallacy to quit my old one after only two weeks and move across the country.
As for asking for redemption, I'm pretty good at apologizing, and people I know are pretty good at forgiveness. It's hard to explain feeling loved in a truly unconditional way, but it was more of a bonus than anything. On a scale of 1-100, I miss this about a 5.
Your tips are good, and I would recommend them to others, but personally, I think that all I'll need is the time to gradually readjust.
The only difference after deconverting, when these prayers still came instinctually, was that I couldn't say "thanks God" anymore... it's hard to explain, but "thanks universe" just isn't the same.
You had a ritual and conditioned yourself to feel good whenever you say "thanks God". You don't have that conditioning for the phrase "thanks universe".
Your tips are good, and I would recommend them to others, but personally, I think that all I'll need is the time to gradually readjust.
Yes, time solves a lot. If you still feel there something missing however, there are way to patch all the holes.
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