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skeptical_lurker comments on Open thread, Sep. 14 - Sep. 20, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion

3 Post author: MrMind 14 September 2015 07:10AM

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Comment author: Lumifer 17 September 2015 07:50:21PM 7 points [-]

where coffee is a euphemism for sex

Actually, it's often not -- it's a declaration of interest and an euphemism for "let's move this thing along for the time being and see where we'll end up".

Imagine the answer to your "Do you want to come back to my room for sex?" being "I don't know yet, why don't we have coffee while I evaluate you a bit more thoroughly?"

Comment author: skeptical_lurker 17 September 2015 08:07:53PM -1 points [-]

Actually, it's often not -- it's a declaration of interest and an euphemism for "let's move this thing along for the time being and see where we'll end up".

So, someone who wanted to take things slowly would turn them down, where they might have accepted an invitation for coffee in starbucks. If invitation to bars = drink , bedroom = sex then everyone knows where they stand.

Comment author: Lumifer 17 September 2015 08:34:15PM 6 points [-]

So, someone who wanted to take things slowly would turn them down

Maybe? It's a negotiation. For example that someone could have counter-suggested a coffee at Starbucks, that's a "you're going too fast" signal. Or said "Sure, but I'll have to run in 10 minutes, I have an appointment to catch", that's a "yes to coffee, no to sex" signal. There is a VERY large variety of ways to signal interest, intentions, etc.