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Lumifer comments on Open thread, Sep. 28 - Oct. 4, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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I don't know. I find it very plausible that children of bad marriages would have trouble creating and maintaining a stable and happy relationship, but I'm not sure about just starting a relationship.
Part of the situation is that people are under less pressure to start relationships (less likely to deal with parents who are demanding grandchildren), and that they're in a social environment where it's easier to turn people down. Even a slight flinch reaction at the idea of starting a relationship is going to raise the threshold effort.
I'll track down the link if it's wanted, but there was a piece by a woman from the UK who decided to accept every date that was offered to her. It turned out that a lot of men had no plans for the date-- they'd say "whatever you want to do". Admittedly, this isn't a formal survey, but I wonder whether it's an indication of a lot of men who aren't actually enthusiastic about dating.
I don't think offering a woman the choice of what the date is about indicates lack of enthusiasm of going to a date with the woman.
It might be a matter of tone, but I'd rather hear at least an offer of a plan with room for other suggestions rather than no plan.
There are two different issues:
1) What does the woman prefer.
2) What does this behavior signal about the guy.
The thing is "signal" is at least a two place verb-- it probably needs more places because there are a large number of people involved.
I may have just acquired signal as a word to be sensitive to-- signals have to be interpreted, so just saying something is being signaled leaves out altogether too much variation in many cases.