That's an amazing journey of self-discovery. I, too, had a period where I wanted to erase the parts of me that I found useless, but I didn't go as deeply Vulcan as you did. (You're the first person I've met who became more sensitive and overall nicer because of Atlas Shrugged.) I'm sorry to hear that you went through so many dark places during your process, and I find your final meditations on the meaning of suffering to be quite inspiring. You have my admiration.