helldalgo comments on Open thread, Nov. 23 - Nov. 29, 2015 - Less Wrong Discussion
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A little of both, I think.
Basically, it's a whole mess of things to come to terms with. The spouse thing is the biggest.
I think those concerns are understandable but the thing that makes LW special is that discourse here often ignores uncomfortable barriers of thought like this. That can feel weird for outsiders.