It doesn't depend on IQ or gender or color of skin

On color of skin, no, but on IQ somewhat. This is so for two reasons. The first one is capability to learn -- a sufficiently high-IQ person will be able to figure out what's happening and adjust. An insufficiently-high-IQ person will not and will be stuck in unhappy loops.

The second one is that the nerd culture of sharing information depends on the ability to understand and value that information. If you don't understand what the nerds are talking about, you have to fall back on social games because you have no other options. That's what I mistakenly thought was happening with the mathematician quote in the grandparent comment -- turned out I was wrong, but such situations exist.

Oh, and gender plays a role, too. Women are noticeably more social than men, so the nerd cultures tend to be mostly male.