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helldalgo comments on A Rationalist Guide to OkCupid - Less Wrong Discussion

25 Post author: Jacobian 03 February 2016 08:50PM

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Comment author: pianoforte611 04 February 2016 03:01:32PM 5 points [-]

I'd love to see the results of a large survey on how successfuly married people found their partner. Is the "love finds you" meme based in anything real? The most common anecdote that I've heard is of the form "I really wanted this person and I pursued them persistently until they settled for me".

Comment author: helldalgo 04 February 2016 03:23:42PM 5 points [-]

My SO and I did not pursue each other relentlessly. Granted, the conditions of the area meant that I was under even less pressure than women normally are to be the pursuer. The area had very few women between the ages of 18 and 30. He didn't have to pursue me that much, either, but I am not sure if there were reasons beyond my personality.

I had just ended a relationship, he and I befriended each other, we expressed interest. We started dating officially a few months later, I moved in with him, and we got married 1.5 years later. We're coming up on our fourth anniversary and the relationship has been successful by all meaningful metrics. :)