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OrphanWilde comments on A Rationalist Guide to OkCupid - Less Wrong Discussion
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What signs do you look for to identify a person who would compliment or enhance you in the way you describe? (i.e. How would you identify a person like this?)
Note: I agree with you and do very similar things for friendships. I'm curious about other people's methods to improve my own.
Unfortunately - I'm not sure. It took me two or three months to figure it out in that case, and while I remember the revelation that "This is a healthy relationship", I don't remember anything in particular sparking it.
If this relationship ends, I still don't know what criteria I'd use to identify what I'm looking for. (She messaged me on OkC, actually; perhaps the only woman to do so who wasn't threatening me or who hadn't read my profile at all, although I fixed the latter by making my profile picture deliberately off-putting to the sort of person who wouldn't read a profile in the first place.)