Something feels quite wrong about the second statement though. It's common knowledge that men want sex. Is there any harm in expressing yourself about it?
The question isn't so much whether the man wants sex but whether he wants more than just sex. Whether he also wants an emotional relationship in addition to sex.
First of all, it implies at least one side believes there might be compatibility (far fetched, because there's plenty of pretty women or I just have low standards) which is the first step toward anything.
The basic act for asking a woman out states that you believe there's compatiblity.
In other words, telling a woman that she's pretty and I'd like to get to know her is both about honesty and self-expression AND the woman herself.
It doesn't express anything about you that's different from other guys that approach her. It doesn't express anything about her that makes her special as you are saying the same thing to plenty of woman.
A woman on a dating website get's a lot of messages and if you are just like the other stereotypical man who want sex with her because you find her pretty.
Yes, you might only express that she's exchangable and you don't care about her in particular and any number of other pretty girls would be just as good as her, but that's not what she wants to hear.
A first message thus should present you in a light that doesn't make you seem like all the other guys who message her.
And third (coming from the second) is that it raises the question of WHEN should you express yourself?
In person good self expression is often about being in touch with the moment and expressing what you feel exactly when you feel it strongly.
Alright. I give up. I'm now convinced my methodology was bad. I should read a book.
Upvoted for updating my beliefs.
There's a lot of data and research on what makes people successful at online dating, but I don't know anyone who actually tried to wholeheartedly apply this to themselves. I decided to be that person: I implemented lessons from data, economics, game theory and of course rationality in my profile and strategy and OkCupid. Shockingly, it worked! I got a lot of great dates, learned a ton and found the love of my life. I didn't expect dating to be my "rationalist win", but it happened.
Here's the first part of the story, I hope you'll find some useful tips and maybe a dollop of inspiration among all the silly jokes.
P.S.
Does anyone know who curates the "Latest on rationality blogs" toolbar? What are the requirements to be included?