My minimal requirements were:
This is probably better explained in negative, as an experience of traits that ruined my previous relationships. At some moment I became able to impress girls, even those I previously thought were "out of my league", by being smart and witty, a good dancer, and having a few interesting stories and impressing achievements in the past. The problem is, it probably created wrong expectations.
I like to go out and dance, once in a while, but I also love to spend a lot of time with my computer or debating "nerdy topics". I can be funny, but I also have some problems that I need to solve (such as procrastination, not being satisfied with my career, etc.). I do achieve quite impressive things once in a while, but my typical day is completely unimpressive (I go to work, come back tired, read some web, and go to sleep). So I guess the things that helped me seduce the girls seemed like false advertisement afterwards.
Seemed to me that the girls I seduced by fun and dancing often expected the whole life to be "fun and dancing". They probably expected the whole life to be just like at the college; at the beginning it seemed like I could provide such life to them, and when I disappointed them, they moved to someone else who seemed he could fulfill the promise better.
For a stable relationship, I need someone who doesn't expect the whole life to be like a college. Someone who can help me solve problems when they appear (and of course I provide the same in return). Someone who can spend their time with their hobbies, while I spend my time with my hobbies.
I got all this, and more. My wife enjoys reading SSC, and we can discuss that kind of topics. We also have similar ideas about upbringing children.
There's a lot of data and research on what makes people successful at online dating, but I don't know anyone who actually tried to wholeheartedly apply this to themselves. I decided to be that person: I implemented lessons from data, economics, game theory and of course rationality in my profile and strategy and OkCupid. Shockingly, it worked! I got a lot of great dates, learned a ton and found the love of my life. I didn't expect dating to be my "rationalist win", but it happened.
Here's the first part of the story, I hope you'll find some useful tips and maybe a dollop of inspiration among all the silly jokes.
P.S.
Does anyone know who curates the "Latest on rationality blogs" toolbar? What are the requirements to be included?