Open Thread May 16 - May 22, 2016

Elo

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If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.

Notes for future OT posters:

1. Please add the 'open_thread' tag.

2. Check if there is an active Open Thread before posting a new one. (Immediately before; refresh the list-of-threads page before posting.)

3. Open Threads should be posted in Discussion, and not Main.

4. Open Threads should start on Monday, and end on Sunday.

But I've always tried to follow the advice that the best way to deal with conflict is to calmly walk away, if possible.

Wow that is quite possibly the worst advice I have ever heard, without exaggeration. Walking away is a 'solution' that will literally never solve the problem. Now there are times when the best strategic move is to not engage, but that is a statement of priorities and/or timing. But never, not once do you solve a problem by ignoring it. Walking away is not a solution. I hope at least that lesson was learned from this tragic accident :(

Well, sometimes things have gone wrong from my not walking away from drunk angry people, and instead arguing back, escalting the situation to the point at which I have needed to use physical violence to defend myself.

But in this case, yes I should not have walked away, as there was too much to lose by walking away.

Basically I agree with Pimgd - walk away only if you don't need to interact with that person again, and there is nothing at stake, or if you certainly can't win the conflict.

12Lumifer10y

Some problems are not for you to solve. Don't just do something, stand there.

5Pimgd10y

Walking away from problems in traffic (like when you have a near miss because someone else made a steering mistake) is usually a lot better than getting into a heated argument about what an this other person is for not noticing you even although you had your lights on and everything. Walking away works if you're not likely to interact with the other person in the future. Walking away also works if you're not likely to interact in the context of X with the other person in the future. As always, there is a middle path where sometimes walking away is good and some times it isn't, but "that will literally never solve the problem" is only correct if you see "the problem" as "the grievance that has just occurred".