This is not intended to be snarky or backhanded or anything. You did ask for insights.
It sounds like you're seeking some kind of complex justification to do something that you want to do anyway. Currently your reasons are not-necessarily-rational and maybe not fully consciously acknowledged, but you feel the desire/compulsion anyway. I say just go ahead and do what your gut is suggesting, while keeping in mind that you can always back. This isn't an irrevocable decision, so you lose almost nothing for trying.
There is probably some of that going on. More potent nootropics have long been a kind of forbidden fruit to me.
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post, then it goes here.
Notes for future OT posters:
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2. Check if there is an active Open Thread before posting a new one. (Immediately before; refresh the list-of-threads page before posting.)
3. Open Threads should start on Monday, and end on Sunday.
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