it seems that most things just are, with no real effort on either side to make things bad or good

That's absolutely not what I meant to convey. Most things are the result of a mix of different definitions of "good", with plenty of effort on all sides toward their needs/wants (aka their definition of "goodness"). This conflict, however, is not zero-sum. There are plenty of behaviors that bring more value to some stakeholders than it costs the others.

School as learning is good for some, school as daycare is good for a different some,... (read more)