Your original method worked well. You were able to be kind to others, enjoy their company and accept their flaws. Perhaps thinking about others like a cat is a good technique for you to use. Your seem very kindly disposed to cats. Cats are fellow intelligent mammals. I think we are not so different from them. 

Similarly other people are both similar to us in various ways and quite different in others. Its not always easy to tell which. But we all suffer, there is a lot of pain in a life. We also experience happiness. We have dreams. I don't see why you should switch from your methods to mine. My methods work for me but yours were working fine for you! But if you want to experiment I would try asking yourself the following questions:

"How are they being brave"

"What is their dream"

"What part of their life is causing them the most pain"

I think you can ask these questions about cats too. 

 

"If I’m doing something which is hurting my partner, but my partner isn’t comfortable telling me, then how will it ever get solved? If I want something really important from my partner, but I’m not comfortable asking them or telling them that I need it, then how will they know that it’s especially important to provide?"

You could pay attention to each other and notice, without the other person having to say it explicitly unprompted. Of course if somoene seems concerned you can clarify the issue, they can't read minds. But your partner most certainly can notice comething is wrong and have some idea of whats going on.

 Among normies there is a very reasonable norm that "if they aren't paying attention enough attention to even notice a problem, then its not safe to tell them whats going on". It takes two to tango. 

Based on the bay vibes Aella is now Caliph. Lesswrongcon really feels like Aellacon. All the Aella special interests are mega central. Participants vibes have shifted. Scott reigned for a long time after displacing Eleizer. But a new power has risen. 

I feel like, in literally all cases, whenever I felt like I made a breakthrough it was pretty sticky. At least if I still endorsed the breakthrough literally one day later when I double checked. But usually the next day double check passes too. Including breakthroughs made while high. In this regard I think I am just unusual. 

Notably I have never actually thought a breakthrough would solve all my problems or cause me to never be sad again. Im not that optimistic. But the breakthroughs lead to substantial improvements for me personally. 

Have you tried any of the Agonists? Did they work for you?

The reason no one seems excited to work on this is that very few people, who didnt initially sleep way too much, report they managed to substantially reduce their need for sleep without side effects. Everyone already knows about common* stimulants like modafinal and amphetamine. People also know about sleep hygeine. Both work. But neither radically reduces the need for sleep in healthy people. When people use stimulants in high doses for a long time to reduce sleep they commonly reprort severe adverse effects. 

But anything is possible and orexin agonists are not commonly discussed at all. So maybe they work. So im quite serious when I ask if you tried them! Historically much science started with n=1.

You know I. The traditional story the Buddha de facto abandoned his wife and young child...

I feel like people are getting into Buddhist practice without any agree lme t with its underlying philosophy 

It is probably difficult or impossible to permanently reduce all your "negative" emotions to zero. It is definitely not possible to reduce their strength in any kind of uniform way. But in my experience you can most certainly reduce the intensity of your negative* emotions. The effect is uneven but it is certainly not small. 

Im not sure we should do anything in particular. But I don't personally desire to suffer. I don't think it adds any beauty to things. Nor does it make me a kinder or more beautiful person. Many hamrful behaviors are downstream of clinging tightly. Thats my perspective anyway. 

I am personally content with whenever my own story ends. I had an interesting life. There is a limit to my equanimity. I would pretty strongly prefer not to get tortured badly. But otherwise I am fairly happy with any ending. 

I would prefer to experience no mental pain upon learning Titania, my partner of eleven years, has died. I honestly don't think I would be very sad. When I consider the situation, I imagine myself thinking: 

Titania was wonderful. She was brave and tender and beautiful. It was a gift to have known her, to have spent so much time together. Many things hurt her so badly but she pressed on bravely. She was funny and clever and sexy. She lived a beautiful life. All things pass away, and this world is less bright for her passing. Im sure one day soon I will want to casual say hello and talk to her. To give her a morning cuddle. And I will remember she is gone, and I will miss her. But she was so wonderful, it makes me smile to think of her and our life together. It was a gift. The wheel turns on. Tomorrow awaits

Of course there is some sadness mixed in. I experience a bit of sadness writing those words. Even the time we have already had together is wonderful. How much more wonderful will things be, by the time we say goodbye? The Dawn too is beautiful. I look forward to seeing what Tomorrow holds.