I think "small girl" should be "small children"; "tenderness" should probably be "feel pity"; "cloud hair" should probably be "hairbun"; "jade shoulder" should be "lady's arms" and "clear splendor" should be "bright light". After all, we are not writing out Fuzhou as "blessing prefecture". And I think "empty window curtain" should be "gauze curtains" (the air gaps between the gauze is where "empty" comes from)