I never give advice. Instead, everything is Socratic Dialogue.

In theorizing why this works, I've come to think of it in terms of inferential distances. The distance between somebody else's net experiences and my own is so vast, that giving advice is futile (and more of an indication that the advice-giver wants to feel self-important).

People are experts on themselves. Given enough space and gentle enough questions from an active listener, they often have the capacity to solve their own problems.

I never ask about the past and I never dig into trauma. I focus on what they’re predicting in the present.

^That's what surprised me about Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. There's not an absolute need to unearth and relive the past---doing so can retraumatize people and make recovery more difficult. (Learning people's stories are so delightful, so I often have to restrain myself from asking prying questions to fulfill my curiosity when I'm intending to help people heal).

Instead, the focus of healing (from many forms of therapy) is more about understanding the present moment and how we relate to it.

Sure! Here are two of my favorites.

(1) From Leil Lowndes' book:

Don't ask what they do. In the US in my experience, the most common question upon meeting someone is "what do you do?" But the problem with this is that while 65% of Americans are satisfied with their jobs, only 20% of Americans are passionate about their work. From Lowndes:

If you instead ask, "How do you enjoy spending most of your time?" It allows people to mention their job or their hobbies. And homemakers are no longer embarrassed to say, "I'm just a mom" to the question of "what do you do?" 

(2) From Dale Carnegie's book:

Never disagree and say "you're wrong". I am a naturally disagreeable person. Learning about this technique hasn't made me more agreeable, I just express my disagreement differently now. From Carnegie:

Never announce, "I am going to prove so-and-so to you." That's bad. That's tantamount to saying: "I am smarter than you are and am going to make you change your mind."

"We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance; but if we are told we are wrong, we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with a passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened."—James Harvey Robinson

I've adopted a more indirect way of challenging people's beliefs. Rather than stating my disagreement, I tend to ask questions (à la the Socratic Method) to get to the root of somebody's belief. Sometimes they'll notice contradictions in their own arguments without me having to point them out.

To avoid the interview-style conversation, I don't have to wait for someone to ask me a question. I can just open up and share relatable things (via conversational signposts) about my life. And if they're not biting, like at all, it's possible we may not have much in common. At that point, it's okay to make a polite excuse to exit the conversation.

The other consideration is that some people feel awkward asking personal questions. To those more introverted people, I praise any questions they ask me. Here's an example:

Them: "How's work going?"
Me: "Thanks for asking! It's going well, though, I'm a bit frustrated at the moment with my boss."
Them: "Frustrated in what way?"
Me: "Hmm, good question...[thinking] I guess it's because he doesn't listen to my input."

^I'm demonstrating that I value their input and encouraging them to ask more questions. (See: Don't Shoot the Dog).

(Also, I removed the McKinsey example. I don't think it was adding much to the concept of conversational signposts).

Conversational signposts are just one technique to improve social interactions. For more advanced techniques, I would recommend checking out:

• How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
• How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I still struggle with some of my old problems – particularly anxiety, loneliness and occasional depression

I still struggle with these, as well. Another LessWrong user (@Chipmonk) mentioned in a post the book Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation. After taking his recommendation and reading that book, it gave me a new perspective that I don't have to run away from these negative emotions. In fact, not only can I openly accept them, but when I chose to actively love them, it liberated my thought space and allowed me to non-judgmentally witness these emotions.

The book also helped me to finally understand and appreciate author Tara Brach's short story about Buddha and Mara.

Memento mori.

What are your natural reset points?

I have a Type A personality and feel that I need to be doing something productive at all times. But this behavior can lead to excessive mental fatigue. To combat my cumulative fatigue, I wrote for myself a list of "Coping mechanisms for stress and ways to recover energy" and posted it in my apartment.

The list:

• Walk or lay down to process my thoughts
• Journal
• Yoga or meditate
• Sunbathe
• Call a friend
• Play piano or guitar
   

Rationality begins with the realization that everything you know is wrong.

Hmm, well that makes perfect sense and my mind is changed. As I was reading this post, I was cleaning out some bath water when I noticed a baby in it---I threw it all out.

I appreciate your comment because it let me know that more focus should be given to the general concept of "hiding something in peanut butter", versus my specific application of it. I edited the post to reflect this. Thanks!