Clarisse Thorn recently posted a useful article about Ethical Pick-Up Artistry, bringing up a few basic critiques of traditional PUA and suggesting a few alternatives.
Here’s the thing: the current pickup artist subculture has a monopoly on effective advice for how to break down social interactions and talk to women. Not all of it works, but enough of it works that it draws guys in. As a pickup artist instructor once told me, “When I first found the community I was horrified by how sleazy and gross it is, but I had never had a girlfriend and I told myself: dude, if you don’t learn this stuff you’re gonna die alone.”
I’ve theorized that maybe feminists should provide good pickup advice, in an attempt to counterbalance some of the awfulness of the existing community. In the meantime, however, I figure the next best thing to do is to provide a list of less-misogynistic pickup artist instructors and sites, and a few very basic critiques.
A proposal to formalize this Not the same thing, but a discussion on forming a community to practice social artistry in general has been brought up on LW before, but I'm not personally aware of anything coming out of that.
For me it isn't so much staying aware as it is becoming aware. The journey to self awareness is one of the most important steps to actually getting what you want.
Again for me personally learning about human psychology in general, including human sexual dynamics, was one of the most effective ways of reaching that level of personal and interpersonal awareness. As I learned the theory all the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place. The body of experiences that I had collected from social interactions and observations started fit together and make sense. Like waking up from a dream.