Thanks to Anki - which I was pointed toward repeatedly by LW and after some time got around to use regularly - I can provide some answers quickly just by looking thru the cards with URLs in my Charisma and Appearance deck:
* The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
* Wisemans 59 seconds
* http://lesswrong.com/lw/jsp/political_skills_which_increase_income/
* imaginary expertise
There were lots of other references that did improve my life in the last two years. Some of those:
* Relationships/Parenting
* Kazdin (post by me but pointed to by tadamsmar).
* lukeprogs http://lesswrong.com/lw/63i/rational_romantic_relationships_part_1/
* MMSL
* Self-Improvement/Other
* Seligman's What You Can Change and What You Can't (found probably via one of gwerns bibliographies)
* Lifestyle interventions to increase longevity
* Procrastination equation
* The golden rule of habit change
* steps of rapid skill acquisition
* Peak-End-Rule
* The Ten Laws of Shaping
* breathing techniques
* Sleep advice
But to a large degree LW also helped by providing a place to think clearly about these topics.
Congratulations! What are the "right references" that have helped?