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All of cimon_alexander's Comments + Replies

Changing Systems is Different than Running Controlled Experiments - Don’t Choose How to Run Your Country That Way!
cimon_alexander90

PUAs do teach aggressive touch escalation, less talking more body language. Don't ask to kiss her, kiss her. That kind of thing.

An important part of PUA teaching is getting over feelings of guilt for your sexual feelings, which alphas and guys that are confident with women don't display.

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1A1987dM
Non-verbal communication is still communication.
2bogus
To the extent that this happens, it is an efficient adaptation to prevailing norms: the escalation is not "spontaneous" at all - although that's obviously a desired effect - but is carefully calibrated to minimize 'regret' (to the extent that this is possible based on prevailing signals). PUA also teaches other techniques that balance out active escalation ("push-pull", "freeze-out"). We're talking about a very broad toolkit which can adapt to a variety of scenarios.
Changing Systems is Different than Running Controlled Experiments - Don’t Choose How to Run Your Country That Way!
cimon_alexander50

Thanks for the information, I appreciate more statistics on it.

Lately I've been calling for a right-wing neovictorian form of feminism. The party culture that I witnessed at college seemed designed to put women in a compromising position: black out drunk, scantily clad, in a fraternity house. The sole attempt at sexual assault prevention is shaming sober males. Questioning the whole culture is never done, since "sexual liberation" is also part of feminism. But it really doesn't seem in women's interest.

I read a rape confession thread on reddit o... (read more)

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6ShannonFriedman
Thanks for sharing this, that is an interesting data point. A question that immediately pops to mind which cannot be answered with current information as I know it, is are these men who confessed representative of the majority of men who rape, or one subset? For example, in the study cited, while most rapes were done by repeat rapists, there were still many who did only do it once - this scenario seems most likely to me coming from that population. On the other hand, I've been a domestic violence counselor, and I know "the cycle of violence," where an apologetic phase is part of a cycle that happens over and over. http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/. From my training, we were told that men who do this almost never change, and that while they will go through this phase of remorse, that counseling almost never works to get them to stop cycling back to the behavior considered abusive. I don't know if any advancements have been made on that front since my training, which was several years ago. So anyway, if the cycle of violence which goes on in domestic violence between couples applies to the repeat rapists, then it would make sense that they would express remorse.
Changing Systems is Different than Running Controlled Experiments - Don’t Choose How to Run Your Country That Way!
cimon_alexander80

Slightly OT, but I always wonder that people presume that men will be in full cognitive control to do something difficult (act out novel behaviors against prevailing norms) when women are "too drunk to consent". This seems to be bad social engineering driven by ideology. On the other hand, attempts to prevent situations where rape occurs (e.g. when drunk and horny people of the opposite sex congregate) is viewed as "blaming the victim". I believe this to be an unfortunate side-effect of feminism emerging from left-wing philosophies (edi... (read more)

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5[anonymous]
I'm not sure this is based on ideology. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_alcohol_content seems to suggest that if a Man and a Woman both have the same number of drinks, the Woman is likely to be more intoxicated, even if the Man and the Woman both have the same weight. Since an Average Man is also heavier than an Average Woman per http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_weight , that makes it even more likely that the woman is more intoxicated. The exception to the general Man/Woman presumption you mention even seems to have its own stereotype that gets used in various media: A man wakes up in bed with a particularly heavy woman, is ashamed, and has no idea how that happened. And this even plays into the predatory dynamic: If you're a Heavier Male and you're purposely consuming intoxicants with a Lighter woman, any suggestion that you and she have the same number of intoxicants so you're both comparably intoxicated is the kind of thing that may sound fair to some people(particularly if those people are intoxicated!), but really isn't. Honestly, the more I consider those tables, the more it is shocking. Given a significant enough weight difference and any familiarity with alcohol, a man can be sober enough to drive when a woman is in a stupor even though both had the same number of drinks.
ShannonFriedman120

Also, this is not to say that you are not correct about some cases - I'm sure there are many cases where two horny people have sex and were not in control then the woman later calls it rape. Its just that given things such as the article listed and my own observations in the world, I'm inclined to believe that it is not what is happening in the majority of cases.

This is one of those complex things getting oversimplified. Perhaps part of the problem is indeed related to over-eager feminists over-simplifying the problem, and thus turning off men who can ... (read more)

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6ShannonFriedman
Check out the article I linked - it is very insightful. I would agree with what you are saying if most rapes were single instances. However, most rapes are committed by a very small percentage of guys, who on average rape or attempt to rape half a dozen women each. That it is the same guys doing it repeatedly implies that it is not a mistake.