All of lmnop's Comments + Replies

lmnop00

Is the pay strictly by hours or by work produced? Is it possible to make more than $10-$12/hr by e.g. reading the essays faster?

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lmnop50

No, but I read it just now, thank you for linking me. The example takeover strategy offered there was bribing a lab tech to assemble nanomachines (which I am guessing would then be used to facilitate some grey goo scenario, although that wasn't explicitly stated). That particular strategy seems a bit far-fetched, since nanomachines don't exist yet and we thus don't know their capabilities. However, I can see how something similar with an engineered pandemic would be relatively easy to carry out, assuming ability to fake access to digital currency (likely) ... (read more)

lmnop00

Government orders the major internet service providers to shut down their services, presumably :) Not saying that that would necessarily be easily to coordinate, nor that the loss of internet wouldn't cripple the global economy. Just that it seems to be a different order of risk than an extinction event.

My intuition on the matter was that an AI would be limited in its scope of influence to digital networks, and its access to physical resources, e.g. labs, factories and the like would be contingent on persuading people to do things for it. But everyone her... (read more)

lmnop00

Worst case scenario, can't humans just abandon the internet altogether once they realize this is happening? Declare that only physical currency is valid, cut off all internet communications and only communicate by means that the AI can't access?

Of course it should be easy for the AI to avoid notice for a long while, but once we get to "turn the universe into computronium to make paperclips" (or any other scheme that diverges from business-as-usual drastically) people will eventually catch on. There is an upper bound to the level of havoc the AI can wreak without people eventually noticing and resisting in the manner described above.

3bramflakes
How exactly would the order to abandon the internet get out to everyone? There are almost no means of global communications that aren't linked to the internet in some way.
lmnop00

What are concrete ways that an unboxed AI could take over the world? People seem to skip from "UFAI created" to "UFAI rules the world" without explaining how the one must cause the other. It's not obvious to me that superhuman intelligence necessarily leads to superhuman power when constrained in material resources and allies.

Could someone sketch out a few example timelines of events for how a UFAI could take over the world?

3Qiaochu_Yuan
Have you read That Alien Message?
4bramflakes
If the AI can talk itself out of a box then it demonstrates it can manipulate humans extremely well. Once it has internet access, it can commandeer resources to boost its computational power. It can analyze thousands of possible exploits to access "secure" systems in a fraction of a second, and failing that, can use social engineering on humans to gain access instead. Gaining control over vast amounts of digital money and other capital would be trivial. This process compounds on itself until there is nothing else left over which to gain control. That's a possible avenue for world domination. I'm sure that there are others.
lmnop00

Could you elaborate on the difference between continual and ongoing growth? Dweck-style growth mindset seems similar to LW-style life optimization on a practical level to me.

2MalcolmOcean
Uhhh, continual is a subset of ongoing. Essentially, my friend fixes things when they're obviously problematic, and actually does a fair bit of self-modification in the process, in addition to modifying her environment. I think perhaps it's somewhat like she just tries to find a local optimum, and then goes back to doing stuff with her life. The mindset test basically asks two questions phrased a bunch of different ways, and those questions amount to "to what extent are your abilities (talent/intelligence) fixed?" My friend certainly believes (and demonstrates) that if necessary she can level up at any given thing, but for the most part her focus is on actually doing stuff, rather than growth.
lmnop40

I'm guessing it's that Albus's own father was committed to and died in Azkaban.

4Raemon
Hmm. That makes sense, and I can understand why you might leave the sentence truncated like that... but honestly it doesn't come across to me as clever writing, it just looks like a mistake. If there's a way to write it so that it's clearly a truncated thought instead of a writing error, that'd be better. Possibly wording it 'Albus' own fa- "It is the best..." Cutting it off in mid-word makes it a little more clear what is happening, and "fa" has the benefit of looking a bit like "face" so that it still takes some effort to process what the actual thought is.
lmnop00

whereas for an uncoached entrant it's almost purely wealth --> ability --> score.

And coaching can't make up a large part of the score difference, either. There's more than 100 points discrepancy on Critical Reading or Math alone between the lowest and highest income groups, whereas coaching only creates improvements of 30 points in Reading and Math combined.

lmnop40

In book 7, Voldemort visits Grindelwald at Nurmengard in order to interrogate him about the location of the Elder Wand, and then kills him. So Grindelwald was definitely alive in book 1.

lmnop00

Short term or long term? If long, how long?

lmnop30

Eliezer's points about equality and symmetry may be true across the population

I don't even think it's true across the population. How many women do you know who primarily read books, watch movies, read news articles and listen to music created by men? And how many of the opposite? For the 100 top grossing films of 2007, there were 3 female directors and 109 male directors involved. (Off the top of my head) the ratio of news articles written by men vs women is something like 7:1. Women probably have a better understanding of the "male perspective" than men have of the "female perspective," just from the different levels of exposure.

7Perplexed
My favorite SF author is a woman: L. M. Bujold. Her most popular character is male. She has more than once received the "compliment" from male fans: "You write like a man!". She says that it took her a long time to decide how to respond to this. Next time she plans to answer brightly "Oh, really? Like which man?"
lmnop90

But if we can't measure the cultural factors and account for them

We can't directly measure them, but we can get an idea of how large they are and how they work.

For example, the gender difference in empathic abilities. While women will score higher on empathy on self report tests, the difference is much smaller on direct tests of ability, and often nonexistent on tests of ability where it isn't stated to the participant that it's empathy being tested. And then there's the motivation of seeming empathetic. One of the best empathy tests I've read about is... (read more)

lmnop80

You may not be aware that lots of people who criticize women's preferences seem to consider themselves, or men in general, entitled to female sexual attention, and they show insufficient regard for women's body sovereignty and self-determination. If you want to evaluate women's preferences, could you explain how we can do this in a way that respects women's autonomy? What kind of benefits might women accrue from attempting to change their preferences, and if not, they why should they attempt to do so merely to satisfy men's preferences?

I like this respo... (read more)

7HughRistik
Thanks. Rather than pooh-poohing from the peanut gallery how other people critiqued komponisto, I wanted to show what I think should have been done instead. I wanted to show that I understand at least some of their concerns. Nancy actually raised some similar questions here, though I wish they had been raised in an initial response to komponisto before jumping on him, rather than to me when I started defending him. In case anyone wonders why I didn't make that sort of response to komponisto in the first place, it's because by the time I saw his comment, the thread had already started blowing up. It triggered the pattern-match of "guy getting unfairly made into the bad guy," which resulted in all sorts of negative emotional reactions of my own that made my first priority attempting to mitigate the perceived unfairness.
lmnop00

However, the idea that the general standards of discussion here represent a threatening and hostile environment for women, which is supposedly the main reason why they're few in number, seems to me completely disconnected from reality.

Not the general standards of discussion, no. But the standards of discussion for some of the speculation on sex relations, especially when related to the PUA subculture, seem to create an unpleasant environment for women who are otherwise quite happy with the general standards of discussion. Therefore, it seems reasonable ... (read more)

8Vladimir_M
lmnop: There are two ways in which I could interpret this comment. If you're saying that some topics are inherently insensitive and unpleasant, in that a rational no-holds-barred inquiry into them will likely yield disturbing conclusions that are apt to inflame passions and hurt people's feelings, and they should therefore be avoided because they poison the atmosphere on the entire forum due to the unavoidable human passions and weaknesses, I will agree with the former and disagree with the latter. (And I'll grant that it's overall a reasonable and defensible position.) However, if you're saying that the way these topics have been discussed here should, on the whole, be considered excessively insensitive, and that an ideally rational, objective, and open-minded discussion of these matters would produce arguments and conclusions that are more warm, fuzzy, and politically correct, then I disagree radically. Aside from a few rare outliers, the discussions here have, if anything, erred on the side of being too cautious, sensitive, and silent about ugly truths. Well, just observe all the innumerable places, both online and offline, in which the standards of discourse are far more insensitive than anything that ever happens here, and which still attract far more female participants than this website -- and not some particularly tough-skinned ones either. Just from the usual human standards, I think it's fair to conclude that people who find enough unwelcoming elements here to be driven away are ipso facto showing that they are unusually sensitive specimens of humanity.
2wedrifid
I think you may be right. Let's make a new site where we can have these discussions without making lesswrong unattractive to women!
lmnop00

That's just not the kind of belief a decent person would hold, so concluding that he might consider women's safety unimportant communicates that he is a bad person. Now he's been made to feel he's such a bad person that he can't even emotionally participate in this topic anymore.

At least two people on the other side of the discussion have assured komponisto that they don't consider him a "bad person" here and here. Besides saying this upfront before each criticism, can you think of some other ways that we might minimize the real or perceived i... (read more)

Saying that you don't consider someone a bad person is no good if you talk in a way that assumes they are a bad person.

Here, Nancy asks komponisto:

How many hours a week of mercy fucks would you say that women owe to the world?

Yet komponisto has never argued that women should give men "mercy fucks." After he clarified his comment, it's clear that he doesn't want women to have sex with guys they aren't into (i.e. "mercy fucks"), he wants to evaluate the basis by which women decide what they are into in the first place.

Asking him this... (read more)

9komponisto
When arguing against an idea, avoid conveying indignation that the idea was suggested.
lmnop10

I'm confused. The data you present shows that women are more picky about personality, and men are more picky about looks. But what (of your data) indicates that "the difference between minimum or maximum percentile attractiveness of the mates you are aiming for, and your own percentile attractiveness, is greater for women"? You can break personality into several separate traits, yes, but you can break looks into several separate traits too, so it isn't clear that women have more requirements on more traits.

2HughRistik
You're correct, most of my discussion in this case hinges on the proposition that women are more selective in general. I haven't yet presented evidence on that proposition, and it will take me some time to write it up. For now, people can read my post by assuming for the sake of argument that women are more selective in general.
lmnop10

You write as if women were some unspeakably fearful, brittle, and paranoid creatures who undergo apoplectic shocks at the slightest whisper that interferes with their delicate sensibilities. Frankly, if I were a woman, I would take offense at that. You're basically proclaiming women congenitally incapable of rationally addressing claims they find unpleasant, instinctively reacting with a shock-and-offense emotional ploy instead.

I think people generally dislike and avoid spending time in environments they perceive as anywhere on the scale from unwelcomin... (read more)

5Vladimir_M
lmnop: The question is whether the usual standards of discourse practiced here are harsh and insensitive enough to qualify as "unwelcoming to hostile." It seems quite clear to me that only extraordinarily fearful, brittle, or paranoid personalities could honestly answer yes to this. (Here I mean "honestly" as opposed to the already mentioned discourse-destroying tactic where one actively seeks flimsy pretexts for sanctimonious indignation instead of engaging the substance of the argument.) Again, this is not meant as an attack on everyone who has ever expressed indignation about some particular statement posted here, and in the present context, I don't want to express judgments about any such individual incident, whether in this thread or any other. Even among very smart and cultured people, occasional episodes of careless and stupid behavior are unavoidable, and in any discussion forum, people will sometimes be faced with valid reasons to feel angry and offended. However, the idea that the general standards of discussion here represent a threatening and hostile environment for women, which is supposedly the main reason why they're few in number, seems to me completely disconnected from reality.
lmnop20

Thank you for the pointer! Yes, I started using the site after reading HP:MoR, although I'd read some articles from it before that.

lmnop30

I doubt komponisto feels that great right now, and I don't think he deserves to continue to be villified after clarifying his original problematic comment.

From the karma scores on his clarifying comments, I think many people here understand his perspective and support it. To say that he's been villified is a pretty severe exaggeration.

lmnop00

That doesn't seem to be an accurate or appropriate dichotomy to construct here. No comments here advocate the incidence of rape or other actions which ignore female agenthood. Is the advocacy of such atrocities a crime so abhorrent that even innocence is no excuse?

"Perpetuating ideas that increase the social acceptability" of ignoring female agenthood isn't the same as "advocating" ignoring female agenthood. To clarify: I don't think anyone on this site wants to advocate ignoring female agenthood. I don't think most people in the PUA... (read more)

6wedrifid
That doesn't seem to be an accurate or appropriate dichotomy to construct here. No comments here advocate the incidence of rape or other actions which ignore female agenthood. Is the advocacy of such atrocities a crime so abhorrent that even innocence is no excuse? There is a reason that most countries have laws against libel as well as against other more direct violations of the person.
lmnop30

"Sex doesn't seem to be the distinguishing factor on whether a given participant is able to usefully engage on the subject, especially once the selection effect of 'people who like lesswrong type discussions' is applied. It is a political vs epistemic divide, not a male vs female one."

And yet the current norms of discussion are ones that leave a large proportion of the women here fighting through some measure of fear and discomfort to post-- but not the men. This saps cognitive energy and limits how much they can contribute. You may want to consi... (read more)

5HughRistik
How do you know how the men feel in discussions like these? Have you asked them? It's not comfortable feeling that you're being made into the Bad Guy. Many men, including myself, base a lot of their self-image on what women think of them, and the kind of acceptance women show them. I doubt komponisto feels that great right now, and I don't think he deserves to continue to be villified after clarifying his original problematic comment. PUA-related talk is a lesswrong-type discussion. It's the same people. We are just dealing with an amped-up level of inferential distance, biases, and disparity between priors due to different experiences.

lmnop:

And yet the current norms of discussion are ones that leave a large proportion of the women here fighting through some measure of fear and discomfort to post-- but not the men.

That's not a realistic appraisal of the situation. Generally speaking, when it comes to sensitive topics that cannot be discussed openly and objectively without arousing ideological passions, appeasing the parties who claim to be shocked and offended can only lead to shutting down the discussion altogether, or reducing it to a pious recital of politically correct platitude... (read more)

1wedrifid
Hi Imnop, It seems from your karma that you must have been around for long enough that I missed the chance for a welcome. But welcome to lesswrong anyway. Did you find us via Harry Potter:MoR? Note that the site implements markdown syntax for commenting. This allows for a convention of Using a ">" before any quoted paragraphs. This makes block quotes so much more readable!
wedrifid140

And yet the current norms of discussion are ones that leave a large proportion of the women here fighting through some measure of fear and discomfort to post-- but not the men.

The part in bold could not be further from the truth. A not insignificant number of men here are terrified of contributing on this subject, due to their previous discussions. It reached the stage where people making a point that touched on human mating patterns apologised, asked for permission and generally supplicated and grovelled in an attempt to avoid reprisal. It nauseated me... (read more)

lmnop20

I don't know if it's possible to discuss anything in a purely objective manner, sex especially, since it's a topic into which most people bring a lot of biases regardless of how objective and rational they're trying to be. If such a topic is discussed by a group of people who are likely to have the same set of biases towards the subject, then that can create a blind spot. And sex in particular requires deep understanding of both men's and women's psychology and socialization to make headway on, so there may be a limit to how much a discussion involving onl... (read more)

7wedrifid
There is a difference between strong emotion and typical biases and directly combating the discussion by taking things to the personal level. The historical record of LW posts tells me that this political intervention is at times escalated to the level of outright bullying. When expressing certain positions are associated with the threat of reputation sabotage we cannot expect the discussion to be especially well correlated with non-political reality. Sex doesn't seem to be the distinguishing factor on whether a given participant is able to usefully engage on the subject, especially once the selection effect of 'people who like lesswrong type discussions' is applied. It is a political vs epistemic divide, not a male vs female one.
lmnop60

I think a big component of sex dynamics is, as you said, physical strength. Since women are physically weaker than men, they can't rely on that to protect them from overly aggressive or hostile potential partners. The only thing keeping those overly aggressive or hostile potential partners in line are social norms against rape and abuse, which are already weak enough that, for example, rape apologism for famous athletes and victim blaming are common. Any talk that can potentially weaken those social norms then becomes a legitimate threat... unless the talk... (read more)

A sidetrack: I think men's physical strength is a minor factor compared to their ability to organize for violence. If the organizational ability were reversed-- if men who seriously displeased women were mobbed by 4 or 5 armed and organized women and didn't have male back-up, the world would be very different.

This doesn't mean I want that world, but I find it interesting that males seem to almost reflexively organize for violence, and females pretty much never do. Information about girl gangs appreciated if I'm missing something.


"Niceness training&... (read more)

lmnop70

I never really understood the claim that there's no defense against Avada Kedavra. Sure, there's no direct countercurse, but you can dodge it or levitate an object between yourself and the curse (Dumbledore levitated a statue in front of Harry to protect him from the curse in Book 5). Both of these responses can be trained to the point of instinct, and voila, you have a defense.

Wait, the fact that the second strategy works is inconsistent. If the Killing Curse can be blocked by inanimate objects, why is it that clothing doesn't block it?

9TobyBartels
I forget if this happens in the book, but in the movies the curse damages obects badly when it hits them. So clothing may just be too thin and weak to absorb it.
6Alicorn
Maybe it's like a liquid, and can get through cloth but not an entire sofa or wall.
lmnop30

Bertha Jorkins. After she found out that the Crouch family was keeping Barty Crouch Jr. imprisoned in their house, Crouch Sr. put a Memory Charm on her strong enough to cause her permanent brain damage and forgetfulness. But Voldemort was able to break through it with torture.

0Psy-Kosh
Yeah, as I replied to Eliezer, I had no memory of that, appropriately enough. :P
lmnop60

The changes in font are distracting.

0Spurlock
Also the formatting somehow lays complete waste to the page layout when viewed in Opera. Makes me think there might be a bug in whatever code should be escaping HTML entities.
lmnop50

Interesting. I'm not sure if the correct dichotomy is status vs looks either. It could very well be money vs looks with both as indicators of status, since a woman's status (and ability to confer status on a man with her attention) is often determined by her looks. Have their been studies comparing attraction to, for example, very beautiful female sex workers vs less beautiful cheerleaders? Disclaimer: I'm wildly speculating here...

2wedrifid
Not as far as I know, but there definitely should be. I don't think there is any way such a study could not be interesting. There should also be some studies done on The Cheerleader Effect.
lmnop80

While it's true that the average man is more attracted to looks than to status, and the average woman is more attracted to status than to looks, be careful not to over-generalize these preferences. Harry doesn't seem to mind, for instance, that Hermione is plain looking, and admires her intelligence, while the average man prefers beautiful women noticeably less intelligent than he is. Hermione isn't particularly attracted to high status men in canon (she picked Ron over Viktor Krum, for chrissakes), and there's no indication that she's different in MoR. Ne... (read more)

4[anonymous]
Yes, this is why I didn't want to bring up PUA -- it drags in a host of connotations which were unrelated to my point. Which was simply that loss of dignity in front of the opposite sex is far more painful for males. The PUA-disclaimer was meant to convey that, even though I attributed the difference to the evo-psych reason I gave, I didn't want to derail the conversation with this sort of thing. Ah well.
2wedrifid
The differences are also typically exaggerated in popular culture and also in individual reports. If we compare actual behaviour to reported preferences the sexes are a whole lot more similar in their preferences (when it comes to status and money vs looks) than they tell themselves. Mind you, there is only so much faith I can place in the results of such studies (usually done in speed dating type 'laboratory' settings.)
lmnop30

Hermione and Harry are acting a bit out of character in these last few chapters. Canon Hermione is straightforward, sometimes even abrasive, and extremely concerned with fairness. That is why she started S.P.E.W., after all. I can understand making her more social and diplomatic in order to strengthen her above canon, but the preoccupation with fairness and justice is pretty central to her personality. Is she toying with Harry (which isn't like her), or are they both blind to how silly he's being?

This apology business doesn't strike me as cute, like Ch. 36 was. It's just strange.

lmnop00

Or they could've just created self cleaning houses, so no one is forced to do work.

0blogospheroid
Needs multiply. If houses and clothes were self-cleaning and self-repairing, there would be other, high-end tasks that need taking care of, which may not be automatically fun. taking care of the lawn, cooking (for some people and for most meals is not fun). As your mundane tasks increase due to better technology, it is useful to have someone take them over. It is very useful to have an AI loyal to you.
lmnop20

Eh, even if Quirrel points were the problem, Harry's apology is still unnecessarily grovelly.

0wedrifid
I would go as far as to say the grovelling is worse if the Quirrell points were the problem. * If the falling from the building was what Harry was worried about then that would just suggest that Harry is terrible at risk assessment and lacks mature boundaries (ie. considers Draco dropping Hermione at her command after both enemies chose to got out on the ledge his responsibility not hers). But once those errors in reasoning are accepted then some serious remorse would seem called for. The main problem with the apology would be that emphasised begging for approval above expressing sincere remorse. * If the only issue was Quirrell points then even devoid of the approval seeking the level of remorse would be absurd.
lmnop10

"I bet he hasn't had the Anglo/muggle training about not hurting girls"

I agree. The "don't hurt females" meme and the idea of chivalry arise from the fact that men are physically stronger than women. But in the magical world, physical strength hardly matters in comparison to magical ability, which seems to be evenly distributed between the sexes. A witch would feel angry, or perhaps just confused, at being treated like porcelain. Granted, Hermione and Harry come from the muggle world, but Draco doesn't, and he shouldn't behave like he does.

1DanArmak
Didn't it arise, at least partially, because power and legal rights belonged to men (by decree of Heaven) and therefore it was seen as the duty of men to protect women, as an item under the general heading of protecting the weak? What did chivalry (ed: fixed) look like in cultures other than Medieval Europe?
2CronoDAS
Ask Eliezer about his comments on Lily and Snape.
lmnop110

Wands cost 7 Galleons. People throw around comparable sums all the time in canon. Percy Weasley bets 10 Galleons on a Quidditch game, heck, Harry buys three sets of Omnioculars (wizarding binoculars) at 10 Galleons apiece to watch the Quidditch World Cup. Many wizarding supplies less useful than a wand cost considerably more. There really is no good reason for witches and wizards not to carry multiple wands except for tradition. Even the Weasleys could afford multiple wands if they made it a priority.

9Eliezer Yudkowsky
Rowling's money is wildly inconsistent. I use the figure of one Galleon = $100USD and stick with it.
2gwern
OK, those are good examples. I didn't remember the specific numbers, but now I'm wondering why Ronald had to suffer with a broken wand so long if they are just 7 galleons. Hogwarts seems to be expensive; surely letting Ronnie go without, damaging his grades and learning, isn't a very good idea.
lmnop90

I'm guessing that Blaise will shoot himself in the name of Sunshine, tying all the scores. That seems like the kind of thing Dumbledore would plot. It makes the most sense from Eliezer's point of view too, in terms of leading the story in a more interesting direction.

8JenniferRM
And I think that would make Blaise the quadruple agent, with Dumbledore as the fourth faction, and Quirrell aware of the entire thing, masterminding his own little stanford prison experiment in order to achieve whatever ends he's ultimately aiming for. It was interesting to see how deeply Harry got into his "General Chaos" role in this light. (Also, I think Ch. 32 was the first time I've laughed out loud over the story in a while. It was getting pretty serious and this was way more fun. The "vader/emperor voices"... I was busting up! I think this kind of hilarity at the beginning is part of why the story took off the way it did.) Plotwise, I've been wondering lately if Eliezer might be laying the groundwork for Voldemort to turn out to actually be the good guy and maybe Harry's true challenge as a protagonist will be to recognize that rationalist!Voldemort will actually turn out to be good for the world, and deserves to be supported. I could image the army lessons turning out to have a positive global outcome if they ended in the right way, which would add a bit of support to this theory.
lmnop20

Certainly it would be nice if there were less delusion-fuel, as you call it, floating around. But I'm guessing that most men who make a habit of ignoring women's preferences won't actually change their behavior if the minority of women who lie becomes a smaller minority. They will just find another rationalization.

If we really want to reduce stalking, assault and other such behaviors by men, then I don't think targetting women and demanding that they be more honest will be a very efficient use of our time. Abusive men are far more likely to be dissuaded by scorn and social ostracization directed at them by other men, and that's something concerned men can implement directly.

4HughRistik
Sure, there will always be some diehard jerks. I'm more concerned with well-meaning guys who engage in behaviors that take risks with women's comfort levels (which is a broader category than "ignoring women's preferences"). Maybe not, but I do think that if there was less incentive for men to take risks with women's comfort levels when making advances, we would see less of certain classes of unwanted advances. Furthermore, if there were less messages (both from women's behavior and from the culture) that women like certain personality traits and behaviors (see the Draco In Leather Pants phenomenon; apologies for linking to TVTropes), then I think we would see less men exhibiting those traits and behaviors.
lmnop50

But if you, personally, are less respectful of women's requests, this won't make men who are less respectful than you any more inclined to be respectful. It may lead them to be even less respectful (ie engaging in coercion or assault) because they're now under more competition. Besides, by continuing to be respectful of women's requests, you wouldn't be "ceding the dating world," you'd only be ceding the portion of the dating world that's comprised of women who consistently give false rejections, which in my experience is a clear minority. Wherea... (read more)

8HughRistik
Good point. I find your reasoning plausible in this particular case. I don't consider there being a great incentive on men to ignore explicit female rejections on an approach, because I don't see such behavior as actually granting a significantly higher probability of success most of the time. I do think there are other situations where common female preferences create a tradeoff between what is most likely to work, and what women are most likely to be comfortable with. For example, a man approaching a woman in public at all risks making her feel uncomfortable, yet there are incentives for men to do so. Similarly, kissing someone at the end of a date without asking has a higher risk of causing discomfort than kissing after asking, but also has practical issues because a certain percentage of women prefers to not be asked (sorry, only anecdotal evidence from female friends on that one). There are always going to be deluded people, sure. But wouldn't it be a good thing if there was less delusion-fuel floating around?
lmnop50

Please do cite more. Understand that your claims are difficult for me to just accept, because in my experience when women offer men a flat refusal, in the vast majority of cases they mean no. Yes, there are exceptions to this rule, but you seem to be implying that when women offer a flat refusal, there's a significant, even close to 50% chance that they actually mean yes. You need more evidence than the word of a PUA or an anecdote about a woman you know to support that claim for people who haven't had the same experiences as you.

lmnop20

But women usually don't react the same way to welcome and unwelcome advances. At the very least, women are far more likely to react positively to a welcome advance than to an unwelcome one. Therefore, a negative response should cause you to update your estimate of her receptiveness down. Maybe not to zero, but definitely below 50%, and don't you want to err on the side of not causing her significant fear or distress?

I'm not sure what your second to last paragraph even means--elaborate?

As for women knowing exactly what they need to do differently, you sti... (read more)

5SilasBarta
Of course, but the point is this only counts as weak evidence. No, not to zero (that's impossible), and probably not even to 50% (given the tendency of women to change their minds on account of persistence, as some women here have already testified to). And like I've explained several times already, I don't want to err in the direction if it means ceding the romantic world to men who are even less respectful of women (see the end of this comment, or heck, any post I've made today on this topic for why unilateral disarmament is dangerous in this case). I'm not sure what I could say that would make it clearer than it already is. Women have told me that men have done things much closer to stalking than I have ever conceived of, yet received nothing in the way of punishment. Yes, I did, because you claimed that they face an incentive structure that causes them too be insufficiently assertive, yet the very problem under discussion is that they act too assertively, in that they reject more often than they really mean (assertiveness is not in general bad, of course). Since you've cited a factor that would have the opposite effect from what you need it to in order to make your point, I'm not sure why you think it's relevant. There's a fundamental difference that breaks the symmetry you assert: for men to always respect is an "unstable equilibrium", while for women to always be truthful is not. In other words, the more men we convert to respectful, the stronger the incentives are for the remaining men to ignore rejections from women because they have less competition for these women. Any universal practice of respect by men would be instantly shattered by the tremendous incentives for any man to defect. In contrast, for women to be truthful does not increase the incentives for other women to use fake rejections. That is why addressing it on the male side is much more of an uphill battle, and one which rewards exactly the wrong men. As for what to do, am I not doing ex
lmnop20

You're going to have to present some evidence that "good" men are systematically disadvantaged in getting relationships if you want this to be a universally accepted premise in this discussion. But if we're only speaking anecdotally, then in my experience jerks find it easier to get laid, but good men find it easier to obtain long term relationships involving children. Anyhow, if you want to bring up the betterment of the gene pool as a serious argument, then you have to prove that abusive men are at more of a reproductive advantage than they wer... (read more)

2SilasBarta
I did -- the PUA I mentioned. I can cite more if you want. That seems like an unnecessarily high threshold to meet. If a policy is destructive on its face, I needn't wait for the damage to suggest it not be done. That's game-theoretic terminology. "Uniltareral disarmament" refers to abandoning a selfish strategy (analogous to giving up your weapons in an international conflict), irrespective of whether the other players abandon it as well. I contend that giving up the strategy of "persisting after being told to go away" is a case of UD. Well, that's what we all wish were true and want to believe anyway. Recalling the earlier part of the thread I resurrected, there is a non-trivial number of cases of healthy relationships that originated from excessive persistence (edit: sorry, sentence wasn't complete first time around). What? Only telling a suitor to go away when you really mean it is aggressiveness? The entire problem I'm citing is that women tell suitors to go away in more cases than they really mean (at least retrospectively). That would imply that any problem would be in the opposite direction! I didn't say that it was. Remember, the problem I cite is not that women reject when they don't really mean it, but that they do so and also complain about men who ignore their rejections. You really can't have it both ways.
lmnop00

Point taken. But is the gene pool really at much risk? It seems clear that the modern mating environment already penalizes abusive/disrespectful men more than almost all environments since the agricultural revolution. By the way, do you really care that much about the gene pool, or was that just a stray comment you threw out to vent your frustration?

I agree that it would be better if women behaved the way you described. But currently, women who behave that way are also penalized; they can lose status through being labelled as a "bitch" or "... (read more)

2SilasBarta
I care that being nice is a self-limiting policy. It would be one thing if the effects were limited to that interaction. But a policy of turning over all the opportunities to disrespectful men, because they're disrespectful, is only delaying and amplifying the problem, not working toward a solution.
lmnop20

If a man can become accustomed to ignoring women's requests for him to leave, making the judgment that his desires are more important than her sense of security, then does he still count as a "respectful man"? If not, then his breeding successfully doesn't increase the number of "respectful" genes in the gene pool either.

1SilasBarta
The same men that are currently respecting women's requests to go away, are generally respectful in numerous other ways, such as not beating them. If the same men simply invert their rules of engagement with respect to women who initially [1] tell them to go away, they are still going to be respectful in all of these other ways; it's just that they won't be at a reproductive disadvantage. (Even if you posit some effect whereby these respectful men infect the rest of their personality by doing this, they're still more respectful than the kind of man who doesn't currently obey requests to leave.) Of course, it would be even better if women only told suitors to go away when they really meant it, and strongly avoided all men that refuse to (even if they change their mind about him), but why should they change? I mean, this practice really only hurts non-humans such as high-functioning autistics. [1] Obviously, there's some point where even disrespectful men and this PUA go away.
lmnop10

If you really can't reliably tell when people are being serious or not, err on the side of respecting their articulated preferences.

-3SilasBarta
Good thinking! There are too many respectful men in the gene pool, let's try and thin them out a little.
lmnop60

Hi! I too found the site through MoR, and I have to say, as fun as MoR is, the posts here are even more interesting.

0RobinZ
Welcome! If you want to post a more formal introduction, you can use the regular Welcome thread. I don't know if you caught the conversation about introductory posts a while back, but if you want some easy jumping-in points besides just going through the series, I posted a bunch of links and a couple others were suggested.
lmnop90

That is exactly what should happen, but I suspect that in real life it doesn't, largely because of anchoring and adjustment.

Suppose I know the average intelligence of a member of Group A is 115, and the average intelligence of a member of Group B is 85. After meeting and having a long, involved conversation with a specific member of either group, I should probably toss out my knowledge of the average intelligence of their group and evaluate them based on the (much more pertinent) information I have gained from the conversation. But if I behave like most p... (read more)

5mattnewport
If your goal is to accurately judge intelligence this may not be a good approach. Universities moved away from basing admissions decisions primarily on interviews and towards emphasizing test scores and grades because 'long, involved conversation' tends to result in more unconscious bias than simpler, more objective measures when it comes to judging intelligence (at least as it correlates with academic achievement). Unless you have strong reason to believe that all the unconscious biases that come into play in face to face conversation are likely to be just about right to balance out any biases based on preconceptions of particular groups you are just replacing one source of bias (preconceived stereotypes based on group membership) with another (responses to biasing factors in face to face conversation such as physical attractiveness, accent, shared interests, body language, etc.)
lmnop160

This is exactly the crux of the argument. When people say that everyone should be taught that people are the same regardless of gender or race, what they really mean isn't that there aren't differences on average between women and men, etc, but that being taught about those small differences will cause enough people to significantly overshoot via confirmation bias that it will overall lead to more misjudgments of individuals than if people weren't taught about those small differences at all, hence people shouldn't be taught about those small differences. I... (read more)

lmnop20

I mostly agree with you. I would even expand your point to say that if you want to convince anyone (who isn't a perfect Bayesian) to do anything, the probability of success will almost always be higher if you use primarily emotional manipulation rather than rational argument. But cryonics inspires such strong negative emotional reactions in people that I think it would be nearly impossible to combat those with emotional manipulation of the type you describe alone. I haven't heard of anyone choosing cryonics for themselves without having to make a rational ... (read more)

0Roko
Right, but the data says that it is a serious problem. Cryonics wife problem, etc.
lmnop00

Well the practical advice is being offered to LW, and I'd guess that most of the people here are not average IQ, and neither are their friends and family. I personally think it's a great idea to try and give someone the relevant factual background to understand why cryonics is desirable before bringing up the option. It probably wouldn't work, simply because almost all attempts to sell cryonics to anyone don't work, but it should at least decrease the probability of them reacting with a knee-jerk dismissal of the whole subject as absurd.

2Roko
I maintain that if you are male with a female relatively neurotypical partner, the probability of success of making her sign on the dotted line for cryo, or accepting wholeheartedly your own cryo is not maximized by using rational argument, rather it is maximized by having an understanding of the emotional world that the fairer sex inhabit, and how to control her emotions so that she does what you think best. She won't listen to your words, she'll sense the emotions and level of dominance in you, and then decide based on that, and then rationalize that decision. This is a purely positive statement, i.e. it is empirically testable, and I hereby denounce any connotation that one might interpret it to have. Let me explicitly disclaim that I don't think that womens' emotional nature makes them inferior, just different, and in need of different treatment. Let me also disclaim that this applies only on average, and that there will be exceptions, i.e. highly systematizing women who will, in fact, be persuaded by rational argument.
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