cousin_it comments on Absolute denial for atheists - Less Wrong
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Do you want me to stop seeking sex with attractive women or to stop signaling that I like sex with attractive women?
Neither. I'd like you to be thoughtful of the independent personhood of attractive women when you think or talk about them, which would affect the structure and phrasing of your desires but not make much of a substantive change in them.
He sees the shape of the mesh, you see the fish caught in it. "Attractive" is a selection criterion, not yet a group of persons.