Charity doesn't change the nature of the dysfunctional and destructive.

I think this is where your argument goes off the rails. Sometimes, possibly even most of the time, it's true, but I doubt it's always true. For example, I have a hard time seeing how it is true of GiveWell's four top-rated charities. The implication is that before giving to charity, one should assess whether the money will be put to good use; I doubt that sentiment is controversial around here.