taryneast comments on Calibrate your self-assessments - Less Wrong

68 Post author: Yvain 09 October 2011 11:26PM

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Comment author: taryneast 10 October 2011 01:07:41PM 3 points [-]

I've noticed this trend myself. I also see it most frequently amongst my upper-middle-class friends (as opposed to lower-middle or working class friends). Amongst said group, just passing or even passing well isn't enough - you have to be top of the class, or you aren't anybody special.

It's an extremely judgmental attitude and very difficult to live up to. I don't know about the men, but it seems to makes for hyperactive, control freak women... or for early nervous breakdowns. Nasty destructive cycles crop up pretty often too.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 12 October 2011 02:24:00PM 4 points [-]

Three books on common, inhumanly stringent standards.

Compassion and Self-Hate by Theodore Rubin. (Self-hatred as a semi-autonomous mental habit, with compassion as the only way out)

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) by Brene Brown. (Women and shame, with a claim that women are haunted by incompatible standards, while men are haunted by a single unachievable standard-- I'm not sure this is true, but I'm keeping an eye out for evidence one way or the other. )

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courntey Martin (Eating disorders among high-achieving young women.)