Gunnar_Zarncke comments on Training Reflective Attention - Less Wrong

21 Post author: BrienneYudkowsky 21 December 2014 12:53PM

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Comment author: Gunnar_Zarncke 21 December 2014 09:39:40AM 0 points [-]

When I am very angry with my romantic partner, what I feel is anger. I don’t feel the futility of throwing a tantrum, or the availability of other options like honest communication, or freewriting, or taking a deep breath. My attention is so narrowly focused on the object of my anger that I’m likely not even aware that I’m angry, let alone that my anger might be blinding me to my art.

This reminds me of what my ex-wife sometimes said after a dispute with me (which could get quite heated on her side):

"During the dispute I know in the back of my mind what I should say - the right thing to do."

Does this sound familiar?

Comment author: hesperidia 22 December 2014 07:47:01AM 2 points [-]

Is/was she a truth-shouter or a cutlery-loader?

Comment author: Gunnar_Zarncke 22 December 2014 09:03:53AM 0 points [-]

Interesting typology. I can't exactly place us. But if I'd say that she was rather cutlery-loader in the sense that in our arguments she vented frustration and the things she said were often more about the effect than about truth. And if I said anything that hurt her it were truth I indeed wouldn't say because I knew them to hurt her.

See this for more context.

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