This also is why I find nearly all university/grad application/acceptance forums to be garbage. Naturally the topics that are discussed are the ones that are shared across the group, when the reality is it is the idiosyncratic aspects that are most up-for-optimization and least discussed.
Your post is very similar to lots of literature on game-theoretic signalling. The seminal paper being this one by a guy called Spence on job-market signalling (http://www.econ.yale.edu/~dirkb/teach/pdf/spence/1973%20job%20market%20signalling.pdf).
Hey, James Miller, you got any other good game theory signalling papers to recommend :P?
Please do read the first 2-3 paragraphs, since I think you'll really like it, even if taking an hour out of your life to read the game/set theory notation isn't on your list of priorities (unless you've already read this paper, which while unlikely, I don't want to assume you haven't!).
Yes, this article I wrote about Valentine's Day: http://www.ideasinactiontv.com/tcs_daily/2003/02/valentines-day-trap.html
I think the solution to this fallacy is always to think past the immediate goal. Instead of asking “How can I get this Fellowship,” ask “How can I improve my research career.” When you see the road ahead of you as just a path to your larger mission, something that once seemed like your only hope now becomes one option among many.