I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for this, but I'm kind of trying to find a turning point in my life.
I've been told repeatedly that I have a talent for math, or science (by qualified people). And I seem to be intelligent enough to understand large parts of math and physics. But I don't know if I'm intelligent enough to make a meaningful contribution to math or physics.
Lately I've been particularly sad, since my score on the quantitative general GRE, and potentially, the Math subject test aren't "outstanding". They are certainly okay (official 78 percentile, unofficial 68 percentile respectively). But that is "barely qualified" for a top 50 math program.
Given that I think these scores are likely correlated with my IQ (they seem to roughly predict my GPA so far 3.5, math and physics major), I worry that I'm getting clues that maybe I should "give up".
This would be painful for me to accept if true, I care very deeply about inference and nature. It would be nice if I could have a job in this, but the standard career path seems to be telling me "maybe?"
When do you throw in the towel? How do you measure your own intelligence? I've already "given up" once before and tried programming, but the average actual problem was too easy relative to the intellectual work (memorizing technical fluuf). And other engineering disciplines seem similar. Is there a compromise somewhere, or do I just need to grow up?
classes:
For what it's worth, the classes I've taken include Real and Complex Analysis, Algebra, Differential geometry, Quantum Mechanics, Mechanics, and others. And most of my GPA is burned by Algebra and 3rd term Quantum specifically. But part of my worry, is that somebody who is going to do well, would never get burned by courses like this. But I'm not really sure. It seems like one should fail sometimes, but rarely standard assessments.
Edit:
Thank you all for your thoughts, you are a very warm community. I'll give more specific thoughts tomorrow. For what it's worth, I'll be 24 next month.
Double Edit:
Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. I think I will tentatively work towards an applied Mathematics PHD. It isn't so important that the school you get into is in the top ten, and there will be lots of opportunities to work on a variety of interesting important problems (throughout my life). Plus, after the PHD, transitioning into industry can be reasonably easy. It seems to make a fair bit of sense given my interests, background, and ability.
So, my point regarding the speed.
In the middle of working out a problem, I had to find the limit of
S = 1/e + 2/e^2 + ... + n/e^n + ...
I had never seen this sum before, so now cleverness is required. If I assumed guess C was true, that would imply
e/(e - 1) = (e - 1)S
This claim is much easier to check,
(e - 1)S = 1 + 1/e + 1/e^2 + ... = 1/(1 - 1/e) = e/(e - 1)
We know what S is, and the solution to the problem follows. In retrospect, I understand one method for how I could find the answer. But during the test, I can't see through the noise fast enough (although I can smell the clue). I could go through each guess one by one, but I'm just too slow. Maybe there's something else I'm missing that would've made the guess simpler, but that's what I'm basing the slow opinion off of.
I don't know if being slow at inference in this sense is a barrier, or indicative, of deeper creativity issues (or if I'm just suffering from the availability heuristic.)
Anyways your questions all very good, I don't care for academia perse, I care about the questions. If I don't keep doing academic stuff, I would hope I would've formed enough connections to find some route towards practical problems that still require some creativity.
Your last question is very interesting. I'm not sure how to answer it. My unhealthy worry, I think, is I really don't like wasting peoples time. I suppose I don't care about either being "just OK", if "just OK" isn't wasting peoples time, but I still get to be creative.
I guess I don't want to be a pundit? I mean I'll teach, but I'd be much happier if I was doing something theoretically. If this is impossible for me, I'd like to know the reasons why, and fail out as soon as possible.
Your questions are very interesting though, I still need to think about them more. Thank you for your thoughts, they give very good context to think about this, and its clear you've worried about analogous issues.