A certain girl friend of mine isn't very successful in romantic relationships. But whenever I advise her to take a more rational approach to hunting men, she says my perfectly sensible suggestions still make her feel uneasy because things ought to happen naturally. Is this kind of thinking a cognitive mistake? I'm not sure...

A little reflection turns up other examples where people don't just desire success, but specifically natural, genetically attributed success. In ego-heavy areas like game design, everybody starts out wanting to be the master creator rather than humble participant, even if collaboration yields a much bigger pie. (Linky on how an egoless environment aids game creation.)

This behavior is most easily explained by status-seeking, but I feel there's something else at play: a kind of lingering desire to prove to myself that I was worthy from the start. It might be self-signaling or an unexpected application of Robin Hanson's idea that we enjoy clear fitness signals on general principle. Not sure on this point either - it sounds plausible but weird.

I first got the idea for this post while thinking about cooperation. Duh, if I join some collaborative endeavor, it had better be about proving my worth! But when we insist on getting status rather than (say) money, we may be passing over opportunities to cooperate, so at least in some cases it might be helpful to override the evolution-provided default.