Disclaimer: This comment contains a personal story.
I feel like I can weigh in on this since I've recently used Gendlin's Litany to cope with a rough event in my life. Without it, I think I would have been considerably worse-prepared and consequently would have had a very strongly negative emotional response for far longer than I did.
In October of 2011, my partner of six years broke up with me. The main reason she wanted to break up was because she had decided that she was a lesbian, and wasn't interested in having a romantic or sexual relationship with me (a man) any more.
It was incredibly tempting to discount her statements. There are plenty of rationalizations (which any LWer should know are ways of bludgeoning reality into your broken hypothesis) out there for why a lesbian woman of our age group isn't actually lesbian. I actually did this for a few weeks to a month.
When I started being able to want to get back in touch with reality (to even use these litanies, one has to want to use them; I learned during this time of my life that this is a non-trivial precondition), I started thinking of Gendlin's Litany. By remembering it, I was able to realize that: 1.) my ex-partner is inde...
As always, it simply depends on your utility function. If you consider avoiding short-term emotional pain as an end in itself, it would of course be in your best interest to engage in various self-deceptive strategies etc.
The users on Less Wrong may well be drastically less likely to have that sort of utility function than the general population, but that doesn't in any way detract from the obvious fact that a utility function can in fact include an ultimate aversion to short-term emotional pain, and there are in fact an absolute ton of people like that.
So can people stand what's true because they're already enduring it? Wait, already enduring what? For somebody like I described above (one who's goal set contains an ultimate aversion to short-term emotional pain), the emotional pain itself is something to endure.
In other words, avoiding thinking about fact A doesn't allow you to not endure A (because of course A will be present whether or not you think about it), but there is in fact something that not thinking about it will do, and that's let you not endure the emotional pain, which may well be extremely important for your utility function.
Tetronian said that the Litany basically...
As always, it simply depends on your utility function.
Please don't use "utility function" in this context. What you believe you want is different from what you actually want or what you should want or what you would like if it happened, or what you should want to happen irrespective of your own experience (and none of these are utility function in the technical sense), so conflating all these senses into a single rhetorical pseudomath buzzword is bad mental hygiene.
I think the point of such litanies is to help restructure the listener's emotional attachments in a more productive and safe-feeling way. You are exhorting them to adopt an instrumental meta-preference for truth-conducive object-preferences, using heroic virtue as the emotional cover for the desired modification of meta-preferences.
In this light, the litany exists specifically to be deployed precisely when it is a false statement about the actual psychological state of a person (because they may in fact be attached to their beliefs) but in saying it you hope that it becomes more accurate of the person. It implicitly relies on a "fake it till you make it" personal growth strategy, which is probably a useful personal growth and coping strategy in many real human situations, but is certainly not universally useful given the plausibility of various pathological circumstances.
A useful thread for the general issue of "self soothing" might be I'm Scared.
The litany is probably best understood as something to use in cases where the person saying it believes that (1) it is kind of psychologically false just now (because someone hearing it really would feel bad if their ...
Ideally it would communicate: "Lying to yourself will eventually screw you up worse than getting hurt by a truth," instead of "learning new truths has no negative consequences."
There is a subtle but important difference between "Owning up to it doesn't make it worse" and "learning new truths has no negative consequences." The former does not imply a negation of the latter; the Litany is simply saying that refusing to update your map because you are afraid of what you might find is silly, because what's in the territory is already there whether you know it or not.
But owning up to it absolutely makes it worse in the near term.
I believe I don't experience this effect at all, and sometimes the opposite is true: it's nice to finally notice a problem (related to myself or what I'm doing or what affects me) that I didn't before.
Most people here prefer global maxima rather than local maxima. The litany of Grendlin is something that helps us take the hit when we transition away from a local maximum. Most people are too averse to unpleasant truths and are imprisoned by their illusions them rather comforted by them to an extent they couldn't acheive with fixing the map. On average this is an admonition our community needs to be something that carries a punch.
I think it is fine as it is.
I think there are horrible truths that can wreck your life if you're not prepared to deal with them.
Name two?
Friends secretly haven't liked you all these years.
God doesn't exist. Everything you've built your worldview upon is worthless.
You have a deadly disease for which there is no cure, and you're not the sort of person who would try to "live their life to the fullest" or anything if you knew you only had a year to live.
Your child isn't yours - your wife had an affair, but that was long ago, it won't be relevant, and your wife has and will continue to be faithful to you since.
Your child/friend/lover died, and it was your fault, but you are unlikely to repeat that mistake.
And the aforementioned: the world is a harsh, unfair place. No, harsher than that. Harsher still. Keep going. Billions of humans have suffered and died for no reason.
cognitive illusion
Calling pain a cognitive illusion doesn't make it go away. (I'm about to post about how Typical Mind Fallacy seems to be influencing this discussion, where I'll reply to this in more detail)
How does owning up to it make it worse?
Before, you trusted your wife, and your love for your child was untainted. Now it's not. Immediately after understanding the situation, (the affair was long ago, your child is still yours for all intents and purposes) you will (at least I would) want to forgive my wife and accept the child as my own. I want everything to continue exactly as it would have been continuing in ignorance.
Except now doing those things is HARDER, because evolutionary-adaptations that I assign low value to (primal desires to father your own children, etc) are causing me to feel distress, and possibly make bad decisions. I may find myself noticing traits of my child than remind me of the affair and cause me flickers of jealousy that compel me to reprimand the child when I should have given a gentle reminder. If my wife needs to be out of town for legitimate reasons, I'll be more quick to wonder if she's having another affair, and even I can rationally remin...
the world is a fundamentally unfair place that will kill you without a second thought if you mess up, and possibly even if you don't.
How does owning up to that make it worse?
But ... if they don't own up to it ... the world is still going to kill them without a second thought, except now they don't even know they need to be careful!
In any case, I'd like advice from the people who believe the Litany is inaccurate (or at least are able to model people who believe that) on how to handle the situation.
If you don't believe the Litany, then to hell with the Litany. Seriously. There is, first, a place for doubt: a place for internal debate where you go through a phase of thinking "well, I disagree with this sentiment, but I respect the author, so I should give it the benefit of the doubt." So you doubt. And then you decide, one way or the other.
And if you decide, after the doub...
I think it's supposed to be countering the idea that, since it doesn't feel like it's true until you believe it, it feels like believing it makes it true.Perhaps you should say something about that while there are problems caused by believing something is true, they are not the problems caused by it being true. For example, believing in global warming may make you depressed, but it won't increase global temperatures. Realizing you were stupid makes you feel stupid, but it doesn't retroactively make you stupid.
It also might be helpful to mention that, since...
I agree with Raemon.
Mostly posting to express my agreement; for group dynamic purposes.
Incidentally, some years before discovering LW I was facing a similar problem to ones that the Tarsky and Gendlin litanies strive to address. The affirmation I came up with was
"You are not choosing whether to have a problem or not. Sure it would be nice not to have a problem, but that's not a choice that is offered. What are you doing is choosing whether to become AWARE of an already existing problem/situation"
I always felt that a major message it was trying to convey was to avoid the reaction you were outlining of feeling bad about depressing truths by telling you that nothing is different from after you learn it. It's telling you to try not to feel bad when you learn the truth to specifically avoid making learning the truth potentially a bad thing.
So the litany is actually trying to fight against truths from being horrible by trying to prepare you to deal with them.
Or am I wrong here?
Some of your beliefs can influence the territory while others can't.
If everyone suddenly stopped to believe that the president of the USA is allowed to command then the president would cease to be powerful.
The map is part of the territory. If you change the map you also change the territory.
For example, scribbling on the map does change the territory if we are talking about the interaction of agents. If you change your strategy then you will also change the strategy of some interacting agents in the territory with respect to yourself.
But the shape of th...
So, I'm 10 years late. Nevertheless I'm throwing my two cents into this comment, even if it's just for peace of mind.
Mostly agree with the litany, as I interpret it as saying not that "there are no negative consequences to handling the truth", but saying instead that "the negative consequences of not handling the truth are always worse than the consequences of handling it". However, upon serious inspection I also feel unsure about it, on the corner cases of truths which could have an emotional impact over people (or on me) greater than their concrete impac...
Telling people they should get over that depression and make good changes to fix the world is important.
The major problem with depression is not lack of belief than one should overcome it, but lack of belief that one can overcome it. The message that there is light at the end of the tunnel is only helpful for showing possibility, not for creating effort.
Negative self-talk doesn't just go away. Managing it so that it doesn't interfere is really difficult.
The Litany of Gendlin does not say that uncomfortable truths are not uncomfortable. It says that this discomfort, standing alone, is not a reason to behave differently.
It is depressing to learn that your significant other cheated on you. But that depression, without more, does not justify any change of behavior (The fact of cheating, on the other hand . . .). Despite the short-term costs of knowing, you will make better decisions knowing the truth. To believe the contrary requires believing that your decisions made with false knowledge are better for y...
I think I have problems with this:
Do you actually think that's true?
I honestly don't think I do. I think there are horrible truths that can wreck your life if you're not prepared to deal with them. I think it may *usually* be best if you self-modify to be able to handle them, so that you don't run into trouble later. But to say there's NO difference ignores the fact that your emotional reaction to things is ALSO part of reality.
I like the idea behind it but I don't think I can really endorse it. I'm struggling because I'd like to incorporate it into my project, but it feels too wrong. And while I'm okay with chopping up lengthy sequence posts to so they can be read out loud, rewriting this to match my beliefs... well, it's not exactly a crime against humanity but it's technically not the Litany of Gendlin anymore which ruins some ritual-oomph. (And the part that I'd most want to change is the last two lines, which are the most powerful part)
Ideally it would communicate: "Lying to yourself will eventually screw you up worse than getting hurt by a truth," instead of "learning new truths has no negative consequences."
This distinction is particularly important when the truth at hand is "the world is a fundamentally unfair place that will kill you without a second thought if you mess up, and possibly even if you don't."
EDIT TO CLARIFY: The person who goes about their life ignoring the universe's Absolute Neutrality is very fundamentally NOT already enduring this truth. They're enduring part of it (arguably most of it), but not all. Thinking about that truth is depressing for many people. That is not a meaningless cost. Telling people they should get over that depression and make good changes to fix the world is important. But saying that they are already enduring everything there was to endure, seems to me a patently false statement, and makes your argument weaker, not stronger.
Potential change I can think of that doesn't wreck it too much and keeps it similar enough that I don't feel too bad: "Not owning up to it will only make things worse." Artistically I think it might be better to change the wording to something like "Refusing to admit it will only make things worse," but then the change becomes big enough that I feel kinda wrong again.
Maybe refer to it as Litany of Gendlin', to distinguish it while staying classy.
SECOND EDIT: It's become pretty clear, looking a collection of comments, that Typical Mind Fallacy is at work here. Some people value truth and emotional response differently. My problem is that a) *I* value emotional response as the end, and my preference for truth, while extremely useful, is only there to facilitate emotional response in myself and others. b) I know there will be other people at the event in question who share my position.
In any case, I'd like advice from the people who believe the Litany is inaccurate (or at least are able to model people who believe that) on how to handle the situation.