This is a linkpost for https://chrislakin.blog/p/the-absence-of-self-rejection
IME, the absence of self-rejection isn't actually self-acceptance. Not rejecting yourself is great, don't get me wrong! (And you're not going to get self-acceptance without getting rid of self-rejection!) But I would say that self-acceptance is anything you do that produces the experience of being accepted or belonging, or even being deeply understood (and then not-rejected).
Like, "acceptance" is an inner state, but just because you are accepting of someone doesn't make them feel accepted. You have to actually do something that demonstrates the acceptance, as if your self were another human being you were relating to, by showing in word and deed that you both 1) understand the part of them they're rejecting, and 2) are cool with it.
(To be fair, the context I'm talking about this in, is the thing where people grow up feeling like outsiders who nobody likes or nobody stands up for. If this isn't a description of your early life, you may already have enough inner experience of "having people on my side" that this isn't an issue for you, and absence of specific self-rejection might indeed be enough for self-acceptance.)
Missing context for this post that I didn't have at the time is that self-acceptance is default https://chrislakin.blog/p/default
I suppose there is always some "ideology" behind self-rejection, but perhaps it makes a difference whether that ideology is against your feelings on the object level, like "feelings are for losers" or "this specific feeling makes you a loser", or on the meta level, like "thinking about your feelings is a waste of time".
I mean, if it is the latter, it should be easier to overcome if you happen to be in a situation where you can't do anything else, for example you are traveling by train and you forgot to bring a book, or you are hiking. Or it someone tries to start this topic with you. But if you have direct objections against feelings, you will actively oppose the opportunity to think about them.
Revised: https://chrislakin.blog/p/the-absence-of-self-rejection
Thanks to Stag Lynn, Kaj Sotala, Damon Sasi, Epistea Residency, CFAR, Anna Salamon, Alex Zhu, and many others for mentorship and support.