I'm similar and haven't found anything that works well. Reading how most EAs talk about their self-improvement "life hacks" always makes me think "fuck you, lol." I constantly alternate between periods where I'm trying lots of good routines at once and I'm somewhat productive and periods where things fell apart and I'm unproductive. In my experience, most of the leverage to be gained is by trying to reduce the difference between these two states by not punishing myself for falling off the wave, i.e. getting right back into the attempts after a bad day or five. And if I'm on the wave I try to be extra cautious about avoiding things that could derail me.
I took time off from work late last year for personal reasons and used the opportunity to start some deeper-reaching attempts at mindset improvement based on CBT, visualizing my ideal day, and so on. I'm about to start schema therapy. Ideally I'd do the exercises daily but that's already challenging for obvious reasons. I haven't noticed any productivity improvements so far but I'm at least feeling better about myself.
I no longer have much difficulty making and breaking habits. I also have ADHD, and have not always been so able. Here is much of what I've learned from asking questions like yours for the last 20 years:
The primary benefit in this context is that you will begin to see the excuses and outright lies that the mind invents to get out of doing things it anticipates might be like work. Brains are lazy creatures! You have the choice to believe, disbelieve, and act on thoughts or not; but only if you are aware of what they are (and what they are not) in the first place. This is nowhere near as trivial as it sounds! And it can only be accomplished by routine examination of the mind.
** Example: My evening routine is maintained between me and my partner. We brush teeth and the cat, dress for bed, sit a short meditation, and maintain hair together in that order every day. It's actually kind of disturbing when circumstances cause us to sleep in different locations for a night! But that occasional discomfort is well worth it so I remember to floss nearly all the time!!
Too, starting a new habit is an extremely personal thing! Anybody who says they have all the answers and can transform your life if only you try their system is trying to sell you something. Use new systems on a trial basis, the duration of which you should consider ahead of time. During that probationary period, get to know the system and all its parts. What doesn't work for you should be thrown out to reduce the friction of using the system. Sometimes it's by discarding something that we learn its value, and in this case you can just undelete with impunity.
The fact that you have a daily anything is the thing I'm having trouble with. Since moving away from home 13 years ago, the things I used to do daily because family forced me to no longer happened, including things like brushing teeth or showering.
I use checklists for so much. They're on my phone, and I go through them before e.g. leaving the house, turning the car on or off, taking a shower, doing laundry, cleaning things, throwing out the garbage, etc. For the car, for example, I do point and speak (or touch and speak) for every item in the checklis
Tell the people who tell you, you aren't trying hard enough to take a hike. They are useless in this situation, well-meaning but useless. Not everyone with ADHD or other executive function disorders struggle with this to the full extent of no habits. I explained to one person...you have auto pilot, you do the same thing over and over and you reach a point where you don't even have to think about it anymore. I have test pilot...if it isn't new, exciting or death defying I won't even show up at the airport. If I do something the same 21+ days in a row it actually becomes more difficult for me not less. Because my brain is actually working against me. And the number of people on this planet that understand that, are miniscule at best. You don't have habits. They are very common and very helpful but you can still do great things without them. What you have to do is leverage what you do have...you have preferences, you have an environment, you have interaction with others, you have choices. I have had counselors tell me that not having habits was impossible. Most of what I thought were habits growing up was just me interacting with structure and consequences other people had put in place. My preference was for their acceptance and approval so I did things the way they wanted but it was never routine for me. There was always a high level of risk involved in anything I kept going for any length of time. When the risk was gone so was the behavior offer without me even really noticing it had changed. Now I don't even use the word habit. I say strategy and I change strategies often to get the results I want. I don't waste time feeling bad about strategies that no longer serve me or feeling like failed because I couldn't force it to work for me. I pay attention to my energy and effort, how much I am expending to get my needs met. I have simplified my life and possessions to make it easier for me. I have support from people who love me, who help from time to time. I recognize that I have limits and I live the best life I can within them. You can do amazing things without habits, you really can!
I love this comment. Thank you!
(And thank you for the test pilot example. I find it fits well with my life.)
Most of what I thought were habits growing up was just me interacting with structure and consequences other people had put in place. My preference was for their acceptance and approval so I did things the way they wanted but it was never routine for me.
I mention it in this post, but you have put it very succinctly. Thanks a lot!
Let's do our best!
Are you relying on willpower? I’ve found it useful to see myself as a dumb robot that responds instinctively to its environment, and focus on data driven behavioral interventions instead of personal decisions. For example, instead of “committing to spend less time on Facebook”, I got a chrome extension that makes me wait 30 seconds before o can access Facebook. Instead of trying to will myself to brush my teeth every night (which wasn’t very effective), I kept a bottle of gummy vitamins in my bathroom and I got to eat one if I brushed my teeth after. To get myself to do work, I put up my daily pomodoroS on a board my housemates could see. These feel stupid, but worked much better than any personal goals I ever set.
I also realized that working on my depression made the small stuff come more easily. That may not be your situation though.
I'm using a complete blocker for those things, but then I get distracted by others. I don't think the gummy vitamins would work for me because I'd just end up eating them all with or without brushing my teeth. (I forget to eat until my hands start shaking, and I have emergency peanut butter set aside for that, but if there's something else that's easy to eat it might become the new target.)
I try to offload as much as I can to checklists, but I can't get started with the task (and there's no guarantee I'd finish it even when using the checklist; even going ...
I felt like this for a long time, turns out it was mostly a depression issue. So therapy and meds helped a lot. Also, there are executive functioning coaches who work with exactly these types of problems.
another thing that helped was setting my environment up in a way that will trigger me to act like I want. blocking distracting websites, putting red lights in my bathroom so I can't pick my skin, putting a book I want to read on my desk, putting my sneakers and elliptical where I will walk past them often.
also, meta habits. there are small mental tweaks that will help you function better as a whole, one of them is "microsteps". if there's a task you want to do and you're not doing it, it's probably because you're overwhelmed. to fix this, figure out the absolute smallest step needed to begin the thing. So if my task is to make dinner and I'm stuck on the sofa, I think "okay- put your feet on the floor. now stand up" etc. after 1 or two steps I go into autopilot and can do the thing.
At least in my case, I don't think I have depression. I'm pretty much always happy (according to my counselor, who can read my facial expressions). The happy isn't that high, but it's not sad either. It's more like a stable emotion on the positive side, pretty much no matter what happened. Which isn't that nice when things that are supposed to give you an adrenaline rush (e.g., roller coasters and jumping off planes) or feel nice (e.g., exercise or delicious food etc) still have me at the exact same regular happy. (I'm bad at emotion words because alexithy...
Hey Masasin,
I have ADHD, had been medicated the better part of 15+ years (no longer now) and although it's taken a tremendous amount of work and bouncing off the train and getting back on I have been able to build a 'productivity' system where I use routines to enable habits (like brushing my teeth 2x a day). It was not easy but it was necessary. I didn't want to be a complete f'n mess all day everyday and I knew that my ADHD energy could be corralled into something of a positive force and that's where I am today. I know you think you can't do it today but I assure you, you can. It f'n hard but you can. I go to bed on time, I wake up 5:30am everyday, I get shit done, I am excelling at work, and best of all the habits are sticking and producing everything I hoped they would. All the best!
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The only meds that (slightly) worked (Aderall) are illegal where I live now. Adderall was also not anything amazing, just slightly less resistance to changing contexts.
A part of forming a habit is becoming familiar with the procedure. Consistently executing the procedure is a separate aspect. In this framing, it should be possible, and being familiar with useful procedures is useful, it makes them more available and cheaper to execute.
So what would the procedure be for e.g., brushing teeth? I've done it thousands of times already. It's still a conscious decision whenever I realize that I haven't brushed my teeth in a while. Repeat a few times because e.g., I see something on the way to the bathroom so I go do something else, so brushing my teeth is delayed by another few hours/days.
I was addressing the title. There are things that can be done, I named one of them (by the general strategy of making progress on helplessly difficult problems through finding similar but easier problems that it's possible to work on). It doesn't encompass everything, and likely doesn't straightforwardly help with any issue you might still be having. I suspect that if "procedures" include cognitive habits and specific training of aspects of activities that usually get no deliberative attention, it might still be useful. Probably not for brushing teeth.
I was trying to find something that helps me form something that doesn't need any deliberative attention, though. Can you give an example of where it might be useful?
Are you referring to habit formation with treated ADHD or untreated? There are lots of studies that find dramatic differences in quality of life depending on your answer to that question.
(I won't even get into optimizing the treatment a la MTA.)
I'm on long-term release Ritalin with instant-release, which is the most effective of the ones that are legal in Belgium (I moved 3 years ago). It makes almost zero difference other than my mouth is slightly drier.
A lot of LW posts are about making habits and routines, whether it's TAPs, making to-do lists or checklists automatic, overcoming akrasia, becoming more productive, or more.
As for me, I have ADHD and ASD. I don't think I've ever been able to form automatic habits or routines, including ones I did daily, such as brushing my teeth or taking a shower. I don't eat or sleep at a set time, and was never able to consistently go to uni or work.
Is anyone here similar? What do you guys do, and do you have any tips to help with that?