Clarity comments on Open Thread April 4 - April 10, 2016 - Less Wrong

5 Post author: Elo 04 April 2016 04:56AM

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Comment author: Clarity 05 April 2016 09:29:16AM 0 points [-]

Isn't admitting preference for someone the the coup de grace of romance?

Comment author: philh 05 April 2016 01:27:12PM 4 points [-]

Not if she also has a preference for you.

You want to avoid suggesting that you're more into her than she is into you. So "we've been on one date and now you're my girlfriend, right?" is usually a bad idea. But "we've been on one date and I'd like to go on future dates" is probably okay (if she doesn't want more dates, it wasn't going anywhere anyway).

(Massive overgeneralization, of course, and also I'm not qualified to talk about this.)

Comment author: ChristianKl 05 April 2016 10:47:26PM 1 point [-]

It depends a lot on local culture. There are cultures that value the demonstration of personal power very much. Other cultures value consent and mutual respect more strongly.

Romance isn't about making a series of right moves. If both people want the same outcome then it's not a problem when one of them makes a few bad moves. Romance isn't antagonistic. Both people have the same goal.