beliefs and feelings about intimacy and sex?

This is a complicated clusterfuck and I don't know where to begin

Imagine it like a movie, and then what your parents (or other important people) would say about that.

I would feel kinda ashamed

(I suspect there is something negative, either directly about you e.g. "if you don't lead, then you are weak", or about the girl and then indirectly about you e.g. "if she initiates, she is a slut; and you are a loser if you date a slut".)

I feel I can totally identify with this suggestion. But I'm not sure if that's just cause I'm suggestable.

Thank you so much for you insight.