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The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane is a book that helped a bunch of people on LW.
I'm not sure that's a good approach to the issue. Don't label other people with a pesonality type and then try to engage with them based on the label.
I think I would actually recommend this. If other people are deeply mysterious to you, then reading up on personality types and trying to recognize them in the wild is helpful training and theory.
The trouble is twofold:
The theory will be incomplete, and only give you broad understanding.
The theory will be limiting, in that you will be more likely to notice observations that match the theory than obser