So far I’m seeing data that’s strongly in favor of it being easy for me to facilitate rapid growth for many people in this space. But am I missing something here? If you have any ideas please let me know in the comments.
My take:
You can facilitate rapid growth in these areas.
I don't think you're particularly unique in this regard. There are several people who I know (myself included) who can create these sorts of rapid changes on a semi-consistent basis. You named a few as reviewers. There are far more coaches/therapists who are ineffective, but lots of highly effective practitioners who can create rapid change using experiential methods.
@PJ_Eby @Kaj_Sotala @Damon Sasi all come to mind as people on LW who can do this. Having worked with many coaches and therapists, I assure you that many others also have the skill.
Right now I think you're overestimating just how consistent what you do is, and the results focus you're taking is likely creating other negative effects in the psyche that will have to be cleaned up later. It will also mean that if you don't get to the issue in the first session, it will be harder and harder for your work to have an impact over time.
But in general the approach you're taking can and will create rapid results in some people that haven't seen results before.
the results focus you're taking is likely creating other negative effects in the psyche that will have to be cleaned up later
could be, figuring this out
I never give advice. Instead, everything is Socratic Dialogue.
In theorizing why this works, I've come to think of it in terms of inferential distances. The distance between somebody else's net experiences and my own is so vast, that giving advice is futile (and more of an indication that the advice-giver wants to feel self-important).
People are experts on themselves. Given enough space and gentle enough questions from an active listener, they often have the capacity to solve their own problems.
I've come to think of it in terms of inferential distances
yeah probably something like that. I also wrote a little more about this in my blog post today.
People are experts on themselves. Given enough space and gentle enough questions from an active listener, they often have the capacity to solve their own problems.
yeah
it's much higher bandwidth and more efficient too
process the information where it is
I never ask about the past and I never dig into trauma. I focus on what they’re predicting in the present.
^That's what surprised me about Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. There's not an absolute need to unearth and relive the past---doing so can retraumatize people and make recovery more difficult. (Learning people's stories are so delightful, so I often have to restrain myself from asking prying questions to fulfill my curiosity when I'm intending to help people heal).
Instead, the focus of healing (from many forms of therapy) is more about understanding the present moment and how we relate to it.
Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Stag Lynn, and Ulisse Mini for reviewing. Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Brian Toomey, Alex Zhu, Damon Sasi, Anna Salamon, and CFAR for mentorship and financial support
A few months ago, I hypothesized, “Radically effective and rapid emotional growth is possible with the right combination of facilitator and method”. E.g.: for resolving anxiety, agency, insecurity, need for validation.
To test my hypothesis, I began a pay-on-results coaching experiment. Clients pay only if they achieve their goal by working with me.
First bounty
Bob (pseudonymous) and I met at Manifest 2024 prediction market conference. Bob told me he had lifelong anxiety, and it was crushing his agency and relationships. He offered a $3k bounty if it could be resolved.
We spoke one day for about four hours.
One month later:
(Shared with permission.)
He felt ready to pay his bounty and sent the $3k.
Update 12/3: I’ve checked in with him a few times since and he reports no regression. We’re also going to record a reflection podcast in a few weeks.
https://chrislakin.blog/subscribe
Other bounties hunting
A woman working in SF after 3 conversations, text support, and three weeks:
An SF founder in his 30s after 1 conversation and two weeks:
See the up-to-date list.
Wtf?
“Why does your thing work so unusually well?” asks my mentor Kaj Sotala.
So, it definitely doesn’t work for every person x issue. Because of the bounty structure I’m incentivized to get really good at telling. I can help very well with issues relating to social insecurity, for example, and less well with issues of lack of agency about growth itself.
Why does it work unusually well for the ones it works for?
Firstly, I don’t know. I actually haven't studied other methods much.
But here are some things I can recall clients have been surprised by:
I take inspiration from Predictive Processing: “the brain is a multi-layer prediction machine” (Scott Alexander). See Book Review: Surfing Uncertainty | Slate Star Codex and also Multiagent Models of Mind by Kaj Sotala.
I help clients integrate the predictions they want.
This post also describes my thinking well:
https://chrislakin.blog/p/locally-optimal
What do I actually do?
One of the things I do is somewhat similar to the process outlined in this post:
https://chrislakin.blog/p/the-absence-of-self-rejection
Mainly (roughly) something like:
Also I help clients stress-test their new models to notice and integrate blocks that will come up in everyday life before they happen.
Sometimes clients learn how to do the whole process on their own which is pretty cool.
In a way, I’m just teaching them how to introspect in a way that actually results in growth.
Alternative explanations
So far I’m seeing data that’s strongly in favor of it being easy for me to facilitate rapid growth for a certain kind of person and issue. But am I missing something here? If you have any ideas please let me know in the comments.
I’m definitely watching out for regression of growth over time, but I haven’t really seen it yet.
https://chrislakin.blog/subscribe
You next?
https://chrislakin.com/bounty