Programming human values into an AI is often taken to be very hard because values are complex (no argument there) and fragile. I would agree that values are fragile in the construction; anything lost in the definition might doom us all. But once coded into a utility function, they are reasonably robust.
As a toy model, let's say the friendly utility function U has a hundred valuable components - friendship, love, autonomy, etc... - assumed to have positive numeric values. Then to ensure that we don't lose any of these, U is defined as the minimum of all those hundred components.
Now define V as U, except we forgot the autonomy term. This will result in a terrible world, without autonomy or independence, and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth (or there would, except the AI won't let us do that). Values are indeed fragile in the definition.
However... A world in which V is maximised is a terrible world from the perspective of U as well. U will likely be zero in that world, as the V-maximising entity never bothers to move autonomy above zero. So in utility function space, V and U are actually quite far apart.
Indeed we can add any small, bounded utility to W to U. Assume W is bounded between zero and one; then an AI that maximises W+U will never be more that one expected 'utiliton' away, according to U, from one that maximises U. So - assuming that one 'utiliton' is small change for U - a world run by an W+U maximiser will be good.
So once they're fully spelled out inside utility space, values are reasonably robust, it's in their initial definition that they're fragile.
But most things that aren't being maximised won't be produced as by-products of other stuff. Of all the molecules possible in nature, only a few are being mass-produced by the modern world.
I used the example of autonomy for highly relevant philosophical reasons; ie because it would allow me to get in the line about wailing and the AI forbidding it :-)
We don't observe "most things" in the first place. We see a miniscule subset of all things - a subset which is either the target or result of a maximisation process.
IMO, most things that look as though as though they are being maximised are, in fact, the products of instrumental maximisation - and so are not something that we need to include in the preferences of a machine intelligence - because we don't really care about them in the first place. The products of instrumental maximisation often don't look much like "by-products". They often look more as though they are intrinsic preferences. However, they are not.